𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒

45 || Guilt

It was time to plan the wedding, Dress picking cake picking venue picking it all had me stressed out, "This dress?" I walked out of the dresser, and my bridesmaid, Ferni, Celine, Zella, and Esme awed me as I viewed myself in the mirror

I've been looking dress after dress after dress, and none have felt right to me, yes they're for hours but they don't feel like...well me? They're either too big or too small or too much or too little

"Does it look okay?" they all beamed from the shiny glitter shinning the room, Mama was in tears as she saw me walk out of the dresser, "You look beautiful Addie" Celine's eyes darted to mine, They all admired me like I was a fashion model

This dress has long puffy sleeves that are hanging on my shoulder and a corset glittery top, with a long edge, I looked beautiful but It didn't feel like me, I just felt weird in the dresses so far like I look too big or too small or my face looks weird

God, I'm the problem aren't I, "I have one more option I just hope... it's the one" I let out a sigh and walked back into the dresser

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I walk back out and this time all of them sat up
"Holy shit"
"That's the one" Ferni folded her arms across her chest having a huge grin on her lips
"My miracle baby" mama sobbed

Addies dress

This one felt perfect, it was pretty long but it fit perfectly still, "I love this one" I mouthed staring at myself through the mirror, I felt like a princess and I looked like a queen

"Addie you look amazing" Zella cheered, "I feel amazing," I said doing a little spin, it took me three long hours but I finally found the perfect dress

I stared at myself in the mirror having a smile on my face. but guilt filled me up, is it too early? everything is happening so quickly...

No, fuck no

good thoughts Addie, good thoughts, Nico loves you and you love him you deserve happiness, he deserves to be happy, wherever he is I'll be happy.

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We all chuckled entering the mansion just to see Nico holding onto Warren while Silvio's eyes widen from us walking in on them

Papa leaned against the wall while Nico and Warren exchanged looks, "Put me down" He said, Nico instantly dropped him and paced up to me placing a kiss on my cheek, "Um what are you guys doing?"

Mama asked heading toward papa, "boys being boys" "Men" Silvio coughed, under his breath

We all sat in the living room planning the perfect dates, everyone but me talked, gosh why did I feel so much guilt? I cracked my knuckles and fidgeted with my rings while Nico wrapped his arm around my shoulder

He then suddenly took my hand and wrapped his fingers around my palm, I glanced toward him glaring into my eyes, his pupils dilated and made my heart melt,

"So what do you think?" papa said, "wait what?" They all chuckled at my answer, "The mob" the word mob sounded petrifying to me for no absolute reason

"What about the mob?" I felt my breath cut short, and everyone noticed, "You okay Tesoro?" mama asked giving me a worried expression, "Yes, just a little overwhelmed about...stuff" from the corner of my eyes I saw Nico glance at me

I felt his body warmth rise, "I would be too...planning a big wedding is stressful" Silvio gave me a wink, Silvio is the only one who knows what I truly want besides Nico

He knows I only wish for my freedom, "Yeah let's give them some space" Fern nodded, after that everyone understood and walked out of the living room leaving Nico and me alone

This couldn't get any fucking awkward, I appreciate Silvio being by my side but I needed a break from everything, "Tell me what's wrong" he said calmly

Dont open your fucking mouth, Adeline

"Nothing just...nothing" I faked a smile and glance toward him, he licked his bottom lip before parting his lips, "I know you Adeline" my name walking out his lips made shivers go up my spine

Gosh, he knows me so fucking well, "I don't know just...don't want to fuck shit up" I let out a stressful sigh, "Angel your not going to fuck anything up" "You don't know that" I shook my head

My voice coming out as a whisper, Before he could speak I stood up quicker than I've probably ever done, I stood up so fast I felt myself get dizzy

"angel wait!" before I could run out of the room his sharp tone made me freeze in place, I felt his body heat get closer to me, "Angel" a pause, "look at me" "No" I couldn't bare to look at him, if I look at him I'll end up breaking into tears

Nico steps in front of me his fingers forcing my chin to tilt up, "if this is too much for you, we can take a break from wedding planning" he cupped my face

I give him a slight smile and nod,

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Papa convinced me to train with him after six years, "talk to me amore" he said swinging his arm at me but misses

"What do you mean?" I dodge his punch, He then suddenly stops and rips his boxing gloves off using his teeth, "I'm your father Addie, when something is bothering us we question to avoid the question we just got asked"

I hate how they know me so much, especially papa since I'm basically him, I roll my eyes and take my gloves off tossing them on the floor, "Papa..." I said taking a step closer toward him

"Yes, Tesoro?" he questioned tilting his head at me, even tho papa was forty-six he looked nothing like it, he looked my exact age or even younger

"When you fell in love with mama, were you afraid you might fuck everything up?"

It took him a while to analyze my question before he realized, "Tesoro" he sighed, "I wasn't afraid, I was terrified...I did really fucked up shit in my past"

we then suddenly walked through the garden while I listened to him speak, "I was a monster, I was heartless I said things to your mother thinking she would hate me,"

"and she did," he giggled, I beam beside him, "I hurt her, I betrayed her, I made her feel pain, made her cry" His voice broke

as he gazed at the ground from all the shit he did, "Just because I was terrified to love her" that's when Selena's story came to mind

He killed his first love stabbing her to death

I finally gained confidence after minutes of silence, "papa" I paused halfway back to the mansion, "Yes?" he asked arching a brow up

I took a deep breath before staring straight into his eyes, "Is this about Casey?"