I remember when you told me
"Get my name out of your mouth"
But you rooted yourself so deeply into a relationship not of your own
That to talk of my relationship,
The one that I had been trying to fix
would be to talk of you
Because whenever I would look at her
Her eyes would be firmly planted on you
Her thoughts most likely consumed
By memories that only the two of you would share
I remember telling my girlfriend
now ex
that I did not want to start anything with you
not with me and her still being in the early stages
but the insistent phrase
"you two should kiss"
said in different orders but with words added or subtracted
said in a teasing manner but meant seriously
seeing that spark of joy that glint of happiness
every time she said it
made me finally give In
because it would make her happy
make her smile
so I let myself fall into it
I kept the guard from my heart down
and eventually it became something I wanted as well
self-centered she called me
when all I ever wanted was to make her happy
make her smile
it always brought a sparkle to her eyes when she did
I remember when I would have given anything
to see that spark
everything I did in our relationship
I did for her
and yet it wasn't enough
I write all this to say
that when it comes to my life
and my conversations
I will keep your name from my mouth
even now as I write a of you
not once has your name slipped from my lips
nor will it ever
but when it comes to the relationship I had
that should not have been any of your business
I cannot and will not
keep your name from it
because your name is smacked right in the center of it all
YOU ARE READING
So Much to Say
ŞiirSo much to say. That in itself says a lot. This is a place where I put my poems. Hope you enjoy it.