Let Go of Me(BOTDF fanfic)

~*What The Hell Is Going On*~

I got the mail everyday now. Everday around 3:30, I would wait by the door, glancing out of the peephole every few minutes. Today he was a bit late, but I scurried out of the house retrieving the mail and running back inside. I couldn't let Ciel see me, which was a fairly difficult task considering he was the house right in front of ours. Closing the door behind me, relieved he didn't see me and stop me. He caught me a few times, but I haven't had to talk to him-yet. I knew I would have to- I just didn't think I could face him just yet. Flipping through the letters, I found three addressed to me. I set the rest on the kitchen table. I slipped the three letters under my shirt. I waved to Dahvie who sat on the couch browsing Facebook. As soon as I reached the sanctuary of my room, I pulled the letters out. I ripped the top of all three at one time, and spilled the contents on my bed.

All from Ciel.

I skimmed the letters. Apologies mostly. Invitations to come over. The last one held a small silver necklace. It held a pendent of a coiled snake, it's long tongue flipped out. The tongue had my name engraved onto it. It was quite peculiar, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with it right then. Reaching under my bed, I pulled out the shoebox already nearly overflowing with the mail. I added the new editions and hung the silver pendant on a jewelry tree, slipped the tree into my closet behind  a pile of old magazines.

Feeling a bit guilty as I laid on my bed, stretching my short legs. I have no reason to feel guilty. The only reason I'm keeping those letters is so Dahvie Jayy or Sally won't find them in the trash. End of story.

Turning on my side, I thought. I've been thinking alot lately. About Hayden. My mom. My creeping fears, I had plenty of those.

A pain in my abdomen always seemed to be present when I thought of Hayden. I missed him so much. Why couldn't he understand how much I cared? Why?No matter how much I thought about it, I never got an answer. I could never guess what he was thinking- I guess I never would.

I remember seeing the bullet enter his head, but it never came out. I had studied forensics enough to know exactly what happened, and why there was no exit wound. I thought it would be useful information when I first began studyig forensics- at that moment I wish I hadn't- I wanted to be completely oblivious to the fact he died from having the bullet inserted into his skull at such an angle where it richocheted off of his skull mashing his brains until he was dead. I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. I screamed anyway, but I muffled the sound.

He died with a smile on his face, the kind he would make when he was laughing. What was so funny Hayden? Was there some sort of joke I had missed? I bit my hand hard to keep from crying. I heard the door slam downstairs, and my back stiffened. Jayy was home. Sitting up so quickly I got headrush, but I didn't care. I stumbled into the hallway and made it to the bathroom. My head still spinning, I gripped the shower handles and turned the knobs. Stripping quickly, I jumped in and leisurely began rinsing my body. I heard a slight knock on the door.

"Is that you Dice?"

I nearly broke again, but I swallowed hard and answered yes. Hearing him pad down the hall, I let out a deep breath. If I was in the shower, there was an easy excuse for red and puffy eyes-'I got soap in my eyes'. I could already hear myself saying it. Sighing in relief that I wasn't caught, I sat on the built in bench in the shower. The warm water rolled down my body and soothed me.

My mom really wouldn't take me back would she? I mean, Vista is expensive. So is a lawyer. She has threatened me before, but only a few times has she really come through with them. I guess I would just have to wait to find out- I really wasn't all that patient though. I slipped the thought in a file for later as I acessed another- Ciel.