Let Go of Me(BOTDF fanfic)

Everything Has Changed~Chapter Sixteen~

So. What do I do now? Confrontation obviously- but, what if I can't take what he has to say? I slide the picture back under my underwear. If I didn't see them, what harm could they do? Out of sight out of mind right? Right?

No. I can't do that anymore. If anything, that is what messed everything up in the first place. I hardened my face, and tried my best to look emotionless. I was going to keep my head about this. I'm not just going to fly off the handle and leave someone else to sort out my feelings. I don't hear the sounds of cooking anymore, so I shove the photos under my shirt. I seat myself to see octopus sausages* and some kind of sweet, dessert, pastry looking thing. I smile weakly and try to eat, but my stomachs rolling too much. Finally, I set down my fork and ask.

"What exactly is between you and Jayy?"

~Ciels POV~

Hmm. I didn't expect her to be that abrupt about it. I smirk to myself before looking up innocently.

"Nothing really, we became neighbors a few years ago, and I guess he never really warmed p to me, as you can see."

I saw her face become slightly troubled, and slightly guitly. Ha, why is she feeling guilty? Shouldn't that be me, conidering I'm the one with the secrets? Resolution shone on her face, casting an almost angelic light on her as she slammed those colored rectangle on the table. Instead of smiling, I masked concern with a tinge of guilt.

Now she looked almost sick with remorse, and I really wanted to ask why. I can't do that now, can I? That would ruin the scene I prepared so well.

"H-How did you get those?"

She glanced at her lap, and fiddled with the end of her T-shirt.

"You accidently left them in the room I'm staying in."

"Oh."

I sounded dumfounded, as if I were taking this in for the first time. After a few, silent moments passed, she looked me directly in the eye.

"I know it's not really my business, but considering the current circumstances, I believe I have a right to know. What really happened between you and Jayy?"

The pathetic, guilty look was replaced by something completely different- a fierce look you would expect from a sadist. But judging from what I already know, I'm pretty confident that she's a masochist, which makes us a good pair.

"..Dice."

I sounded concerned- but this time, I kind of was. It doesn't matter how I put it- when I tell her, it's going to sting. A lot. Because everything I'm about to say- is 100% true. What I'm about to tell her- it'a going to hurt me too.

But that's alright now, considering the reward you get afterwards, some other voice in me whispered. I knew it was correct.

"Yes?"

Her voice is so sweet. Like a real doll. A quick image of her in a ruffled lolita dress flashed through my mind, and I thought about convincing her to wear one.... Another time.

"Dice. What I'm about to say is going to change a lot of things, and it's going to hurt. Ss please, just keep in mind- Jayy isn't the person you think he is. Okay?"

Shock registered on her face, and she slowly nodded, and squeezing her eyes shut, replied in a strained voice, "I know." Her voice cracked on 'know' and I felt bad for her. Well, no stopping now.

"Well, you obviously know the first part. I dated Jayy. We were in highschool, sophmores. I wasn't really into guys, I never was. I actually had a girlfriend. She was nice, and we got along just fine, but when you got down to it, we were only together because we were scared to be alone."