Let Go of Me(BOTDF fanfic)

So Why? ~Chapter Thirteen~

Dice POV

Thank God, I got no notes, or packages. It's about 5:30 now, and I'm still thankful. I took another swig from the water bottle I kept on my nightstand, and stretching, I felt a yawn coming on. I don't know why I was so tired, but as soon as I laid back down on the bed, the load of laundry that was to be done was forgotten as I lay, eyes closed.

I'll come clean to everyone tomorrow. If I explain the reason I kept them, they'll understand. I know they will. Sally will hug me, Dahvie will crack a joke and Jayy will flash me that half crooked grin I've come to love. Tomorrow. Tomorrow's the day....

~*~*~A few hours later~*~*~*~*

Jayy's POV

Dice has been in bed for a while now. Around seven I went to check on her, but she was fast asleep on top of her comforter. After gently tucking her in, I left to once again ponder the letters. I was close to waking her up and confronting her, but she looked so tired, and the bags under her eyes had just started disappearing since she got here. I read over the notes over and over again, but nothing seemed significant enough to keep. Just invites over, and apologies. She obviously hasn't taking him up on these offers- or has she? I do keep an eye on her, but there are times when I'm gone for hours at a time. Can I really just assume she's sitting at home, watching Anime Network?

Well, of course, I have to believe that. I have to believe Dice, and her word that she wouldn't go near him again. Though I kept reasurring myself of these things, there was another part of me that couldn't help but whisper, Can you trust her? You've only known her for so long, and she's run to Ciel after knowing him for about an hour. She's not exacly what you would call reliable...

I tried and failed to banish these thoughts, but when I really pondered it, well, could they be correct? I don't know much about her, and from her file, it seems she already has trust issues, and is used to being left behind. The thoughts hurt my head, burned it even, searing this thought into the deep recesses of my brain.

The door slammed, and Sally waltzed in like she had so many times. She always was there, on her own schedule, but she was consistent. Always there, unlike some girl who just showed up. As soon as she approached, before I could even think of it, my lips were against hers, working into her mouth. She took a moment, but responded to the kiss. Her hands ran through my hair as I pressed her closer to my body. Our clothes fell to the floor, as our limbs entertwined.

Dice's POV

Sunlight streamed through the windows, and I found myself under the comforter. That made me feel happier, and more confident to go through with my plan. My head felt unusually groggy, but I was not going to use that as an excuse. Not today. Finding I had more energy than expected, I glanced at my clock. 10:45am. They're probably awake by now, they didn't go out last night. I quickly sprinted into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I fell asleep wearing my clothes from yesterday, so I was decent, aside from a wrinkle here and there. Happily smoothing down my top, and running my hair through my fingers instead of combing it properly, I ran out of the bathroom and practically leaped down the stairs.

I'm really excited. No more secrets. Jayy would be so pleased and proud of me, that I came to them instead of keeping it all in. It was going to be okay, for once. Finally I arrived at the entrance to the living room and I opened the doors, and talked to Jayy, and Sally, and Dahvie, and they all understood. Jayy embraced me, and Cheshire purred from the floor.

But that's not what happened.

Instead, I walked into to see w whirlpool of discarded clothing on the floor, including a bra and lace panties, the ones I saw way to often on a girl who slept in my bed so often. I also saw a forest green pair of boxers that I had washed at least ten times by now. They lay on the couch, Sally's head laying on Jayy's flawless chest, sound asleep. Jayy was happily resting there, his breathing deep and slow. Not a sign of regret to be found on his beautiful face.

Clapsing a hand over my mouth, I try not to vomit. Why? Why had this happened? Why now?

Jealousy and betrayel ripped through me. Why was I reacting this way? It's not like Jayy and I were dating. But you were close enough to be. He knew that.

The voice was right. He knew I had grown attached to him, and he knew I was an early riser. Yet here he was, sprawled on the couch with the girl I had called my sister. God, could he have not even gone to his bedroom? The room with a lock, where I wouldn't even try to enter without knocking?

Of course not. He has been trying to hurt you from the very beginning. This is the second time he has seriously hurt you, put it together!

This voice, why hadn't I heard it before? It's so obvious- he has been trying to hurt me. God I'm so stupid! He's playing around- he's a bored band member who needed someone messed up to play around with. He admitted he read my Vista file, therefore, he knew when he mentioned the name Dice, it was going to hurt. He knew. The entire time, and I had just left it all to coincidence.

Stupid girl. Stupid girl. Stupid girl. Stupid girl.

I chanted this mantra in my head as I threw my clothes into my duffel bag.

Stupid girl. Stupid  girl. Stupid girl. Stupid girl.

This time, I won't come back. Bye bye guys. This wouldn'y be the first time I had been neglected by people I love.

I quietly descended down the stairs. I don't want to wake them up. After passing throught the threshold, I used my key to lock the door, and slid it back through the mail slot. I'll just make it to where I have no where to come back to. I bravely crossed the street, and knocked on the door, to find Ciel there with two bowls of ramen already ready.

~*~*~

She's gone. She's really gone. I know she saw us. that's the only explanation that makes any sense. All of her things are gone, and her housekey is sitting on the floor. I'm in checkmate. I can't go over there and force her to come back, and I also know she isn't going to come back on her own. Ciel's winning, fair and square. It's a good thing neither of us play by the rules.