Love begins with you (Mpreg)

Answers to questions

Pete's POV:

We were now in flight to Switzerland with me sitting close to the window and Ae beside me. Tin dropped us off at the airport before hurrying back home where Can was already waiting for him. I turned around to look at Ae who was now sound asleep. He must have been hell tired after having worked day and night to finish his work for this vacation. He looked peaceful and calm while sleeping.

I leaned closer and rested my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat while sighing in content. I should have been really lucky for Ae having forgiven my mistakes. After everything I did to him, he still didn't hate me. Anyone else in his place would have preferred to throw me out of the house and even divorced me but Ae was all calm and understood everything. How come I fucked up so bad? Why did all this happen? I was never like this. I never doubted Ae about his intentions. I never doubted him for having cheated on me, then why now?

There were thousands questions swirling in my mind for my own behavior and I didn't know the answer for them. Why am I being like this? I haven't realized that I was crying till I felt a hand rubbing my back and Ae's sleepy voice question, "What happened love? Why are you crying?"

I sniffed while pulling away and wiping my tears. "I don't know Ae... But I don't feel right. How come things changed like this? Why am I behaving like this? I have never been this bad as I have been for last few days. I accused you for things you didn't do. Rather than talking to you, I misunderstood you to be cheating on me. I have been the worst person ever for last few days. I don't know Ae... I don't know why I am being like this." I confessed.

"Shhh.... You don't have to cry thinking about it. It's not your fault. I had already spoken to doctor about everything when you had miscarriage. Doctor gave me brief idea about how you might react and how things might turn into. And let me admit this, they were hell scary and I even felt my insides twist after hearing the horrifying things that followed after miscarriage. I can't even narrate to you about what I have heard. And I was taking all the preventive measures in order to keep you with me. I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't afford to." He replied.

"When you had a miscarriage, doctor informed me that it might affect you mentally and asked me to be prepared. Also, he warned me that you might have trauma and might even have some flashes of what has happened. I was told to watch out each and every sign when it came to some emotional outbursts. Also, you going all quiet after returning home was a way of your brain trying to cope up with what has happened. When I told doctor about it, he just asked me to make you speak and let out what's running in your mind so that it wouldn't affect your health. He already warned me about what things might get spoken and how far things might go." He continued.

I gasped realizing that I was actually going into depression and Ae was trying to handle things for me. The miscarriage had really affected me badly than I thought it to be. "Doctor asked me not to have any intimate contact till you are fine and recovered and I was scared to lose control so I was maintaining my distance. There were so many times that I wanted to hug you or kiss you but I had to remind myself about your condition and hold back. When things were recovering, doctor informed me that you might start feeling inferior and began questioning everything and I will have to be calm in explaining to you and making you feel better. All this while, I was aware about the internal problems you are dealing with and was trying to not make them worse. Even when Tin came in demanding for an explanation, I wasn't angry. Rather, I was happy to know that you have spoken it up with someone other than keeping it bottled inside. The worst and only fear I have is losing you and I would go to any extent to make sure that you are with me and happy and smiling." Ae explained.

It made me more hurt realizing that he knew what was happening and was trying to help me. "Why??? Why did you do this? Why did you let me hurt you so much? Why did you let me say the things that were not true?" I asked while crying. "Because I love you.... And that's all that matters. I have you and what else could I ask for?" he said while cupping my cheeks. "I am sorry.... I am so sorry..." I apologized while hugging him back and crying out all the pain.