I am here (WangXian fanfiction)

Love and Understanding

Jin Ling walked beside the wagon where his Uncle lay asleep. It had been divine luck that they had run into Lan Sizhui and the Ghost General, or had it been fate? He wasn't sure what was going on anymore. Lan Sizhui had said that Song Lan had come to them, handed them a letter saying that they needed to get a wagon and head out immediately to meet him and his Uncle. Then they were to travel to the burial grounds of all places. Intrusive thoughts kept swirling through his mind. What was going to happen when they got there? Would his Uncle be alright? Why were they going to the burial grounds? Too many questions, too many feelings. Of course Song Lan had disappeared again, so he couldn't ask him. Not that Song Lan could or would answer them. His tongue had cut out and he used his spiritual power to write in the sand or in the air. So Jin Ling kept stewing in his thoughts, Lan Sizhui had tried to talk with him but he brushed him off. He didn't know how to talk about what he was feeling, it was better to just keep it to himself. So, he walked in silence, adrift in all uncertainty. A weak call came from the wagon, "A-Ling, come here." Jin Ling rushed up to the back of the wagon and hopped up into it. "Jiujiu? Are you okay?" he asked, settling himself down next to his uncle. Jiang Cheng looked very pale but he also had a very stubborn set to his mouth. "Jin Ling, I want you to keep Zidian with you at all times," he held out his arm to Jin Ling. Zidian glowed as Jin Ling lowered his arm to meet his Uncles, and the Snake came alive and wound around his wrist. He bowed to his Uncle, "I will keep it safe for you Jiujiu" he said as calmly as he could. Jiang Cheng nodded and closed his eyes and started to say, "if I don't ..." but Jin Ling cut him off abruptly. "No!" he shouted, "no, you're going to be fine, I don't want to hear any more talk about it!" Tears were forming his eyes, curse his emotions why couldn't he just feel nothing like his Uncle! Jiang Cheng sighed and then looked at his nephew and said softly, "A-Ling, don't be like me..." The wagon swayed a bit and bounced as the wheel hit a rough patch of road. The motion caught Jin Ling off guard and he started falling backwards. With a burst of strength Jiang Cheng sat up and caught him in his arms. Jin Ling froze, he had never been embraced by his Uncle before. All the tears he's been trying to hold back, all the emotion he'd bottled up, suddenly burst forth. Like a dam breaking, everything poured out of him and he clung to his Uncle and cried, "Jiujiu, you can't leave me!" Jiang Cheng held him tightly, "Shhh, A-Ling..." he said and thought of all the times his sister had held him, comforted him just like this. He should have given Jin Ling more of his love, he shouldn't have been so cold and unfeeling with him. He'd thought he had been toughing him up, making sure that the boy knew how cold the world was. But ultimately, he had become his mother... His face contorted with pain, holding Jin Ling as he cried, he realized what the boy actually needed was a comfort. "A-Ling, I'm so sorry" he whispered. Jin Ling cried harder at this and held him tighter. "Jiujiu, don't! Don't apologize, you never apologize! If you're saying sorry now that means... that means... you're.." he couldn't say the word. Jiang Cheng pushed him away from him and shook him gently. "Jin Ling! Look at me! I'm not going anywhere" he said with force and Jin Ling looked at his Uncle with tear filled eyes, Yanli's eyes. Jiang Cheng's face filled with anguish but in that moment a soft breeze blew in through the wagon window. He could have sworn he smelled lotus blossoms. Jin Ling too calmed and lifted his face to the breeze. Jiang Cheng felt the coldness he'd felt for so long start to thaw. He cupped Jin Lings face and truly looked at his nephew for the first time. He felt Yanli's presence so strongly and he knew that he would never be like his mother again. He understood why his mother had been so cold, she had been protecting them. But the price had been never knowing her love until it was too late. He smiled at Jin Ling, "A-Ling, did I ever tell you story about the time your mother was so mad at me that she put frogs in my bed?" Jin Ling's eyes widened, and Jiang Cheng saw the tiniest flicker of warmth return to them. "I've never heard any stories about my mother Jiujiu" Jin Ling said cautiously. Jiang Cheng helped them both to sit back to a comfortable position, and then he proceeded to tell the story. Jin Ling laughed, his face becoming clear of pain. Jiang Cheng felt the lightest touch on his cheek and closed his eyes for one moment. "Jiujiu, are you okay?" Jin Ling asked. Jiang Cheng smiled, a tear falling from eye and said, "I'm fine now". When he opened his eyes, he saw Yanli sitting behind Jin Ling, her radiance illuminating her son and filling the wagon with a warm glow. He looked at her, "I promise" he said solemnly and she smiled at him. The breeze caught the curtain over the window. It lifted it upwards, the fabric flowing in front of her and when it settled back down, she was gone. "Jiujiu?" Jin Ling asked again. Jiang Cheng suddenly felt tired again and said, "I'm going to take a rest now A-Ling, why don't you go see how much further we have to go. I promise to tell you some more stories later." Jin Ling smiled, nodded his head enthusiastically and jumped out of the wagon. 

It wasn't much longer before they reached the path that lead up to the burial grounds. Song Lan appeared again and pointed first at Jiang Cheng and then to the donkey. Jiang Cheng shook his head and said, "No, I won't ride it, I'm fine to walk." The donkey glared at him as if to say, yeah right, you look like shit, get on before you fall over. But Jiang Cheng was still feeling a bit stubborn and started walking a few paces only to find he could only go a few feet before exhaustion took over his body. Lan Sizhui calmly walked over and bowed to Jiang Cheng saying, "Clan Leader Jiang, the path is long, why don't you ride and conserve your energy?"  Jiang Cheng grumbled and with the help of Jin Ling, he got up onto the donkey's back. Then they began the assent up the path to the old home of the Yiling Patriarch. Wen Ning took it upon himself, much to Jiang Cheng's annoyance, to walk beside him and act as guard. Song Lan walked behind them all and seem to be adding wards of protection behind them.  The clearing in front of the Demon Quelling Cave was overgrown and looked very sad. Lan Sizhui looked around with new eyes at the place that had once been his home. When he'd been trapped here before he hadn't yet remembered his past but now as he looked around he saw the ghost faces of his family. He walked up to the cave entrance and called back to Jin Ling, "let's set up in here." Together he, Jin Ling and Wen Ning moved old timbers and rubble out of the way, making a space for them all to sit. Jin Ling started a fire and then sat down by his uncle. Lan Sizhui was quietly talking to the Ghost General and Song Lan was quietly making tea, the floral smell of it making them feel a bit sleepy. Jiang Cheng spoke up after a moment, "So now what?" Song Lan continued to brew tea, and once he was satisfied with it his he poured it into small cups and passed them out. Jiang Cheng smelled the brew and looked suspiciously at it saying, "Song Lan you want us to drink this?" Song Lan nodded his head and gestured for everyone to drink. Lan Sizhui took a little sip and exclaimed, "Oh! This is very good! Jin Ling seeing this took a sip and also smiled at the taste, "Yes, it's quite good!" Jiang Cheng eyed them all suspiciously but shrugged his shoulders and downed the whole cup. Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui looked at him with wide eyes, then each shrugged their shoulders as well and finished their cups. They felt warm and the firelight dancing on the walls of the cave made them feel sleepy. Wen Ning and Song Lan stood like sentinels, Wen Ning by the front of the cave and Song Lan at the back. The donkey had quietly moved out of sight and in the firelight Apple's shadow walked on 2 legs. Everything was quiet and soon lulled by the crackling fire, Jinag Cheng, Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui fell asleep. Wen Ning who had not had any of the tea thought it was strange that everyone had fallen asleep. He walked up to them and tried to wake them up, he looked at Song Lan for help but didn't see him anymore. Where did he go! Wen Ning started to feel panicked, old memories surfacing. A voice from the shadows quietly called out though, "They're all fine Ghost General, just sleeping. In order to enter my temple, one's body must be acclimated to it." A woman with snow white hair and piercing eyes walked out of the shadows. Behind her walked another woman dressed in red robes. Wen Ning's se senses where overcome and he fell to the ground, if he could've wept with joy he would have. The woman in red ran and grabbed hold of him, her voice, he knew her voice. Hesitantly he whispered then bellowed, "A-Qing? ... A-Qing!" He crushed her to his chest and she squirmed saying, "A-Ning! Not so hard I can't breathe!" He picked her up and twirled her around shouting her name, "A-QING!" She hit him gently and said, "Put me down A-Ning and let me look at you." Baoshan Sanren stood back and gave them their moment, she was glad that she could give this to Wen Qing, but time was short. "A-Qing, help your brother and Song Lan bring everyone up to the chamber, we need to hurry." Wen Qing bowed to Baoshan Sanren and said, "yes Shifu, come A-Ning help me first, then there will be time for us to talk." From out of the far back of the cave an opening appeared. Song Lan and several disciples came out, picked up Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui and started to carry them away. Wen Ning unsure of what was going on said, "What! Where are you taking them?" Wen Qing put a hand on her brother and said calmly, "they're taking them up to the sanctuary, they'll be alright. Come let's follow them." She took his hand and and together they walked through the opening in the back of the cave. Baoshan Sanren waited till everyone was gone before calling out, "well, are you coming? Hurry up if you are" then turned and walked away. Apple slowly made his way towards the opening, he would be going home soon and that excited him more than all the apples in world.