Today, I'm feeling quite nostalgic. I keep reminiscing about some old times that I spent with my best friend.
Everyone keeps saying that when couples break up, it's the worst....I'm not saying that it couldn't be true, but have you ever had to break up with your best friend?
I had a really good best friend. We met for the first time in kindergarten, then we became neighbours....our friendship kept blooming through primary school, middle school, and high school....but it had to come to an end...
He was one of the only people that I could trust besides my family...We were each other's person...through thick and thin.
I never gave myself time to mourn this break up, but now it hits me....we've been friends for 17 years....
We cried together... We laughed together .. He gave me some of the best memories that I have and cherish.
I think what hurt me the most about this breakup was that I truly trusted him...I was always there for him in his darkest times, I was there for him whenever he needed me...it didn't matter if it was day or night..
Our parents were always really busy...and we filled that space with each other's company. I went with him to his appointments, and he came with me to physiotherapy and many more...We were like siblings, truly...
I miss him sometimes...
Yet, I was the one to cut him off...
I think it was one of the hardest things that I did. All I wanted to do was grow and improve... but he was like weed to me.. I tried to help him, talk to him about what was going on, but it didn't matter...
He got himself some bad influences, and I just couldn't take him out of there fully...I tried, trust me.... I think I will always feel guilty for not trying harder.
But I couldn't be friends with him anymore... he disrespected me and broke my trust in the worst way possible...he showed me that no matter how good friends you are with someone, they will still betray you...he was my only hope left that people can be also good and genuine...
He left me when I needed him the most, when my world was basically collapsing... and then came back like nothing happened... I forgave him at that time and thought that I wasn't worth helping...and I stayed...
And then, one day....I left him and didn't turn back.
Do I have trust issues? Maybe...
Am I going to overcome this? I don't know... maybe one day
The moral of the story?
If someone is hurting you constantly, let them go... no matter how close you are to them, no matter how much they change the story. Choose yourself...it will hurt for a while, but you don't deserve to live like that. It will get better...
