𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑎𝑤𝑛 | 𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍

23⋆☾⋆ Arising suspicion

The steel against steel clashes sounded so loudly it even reached Alyss and I, sitting comfortably in one of the bay windows with clear view on the training knights. Their silver armor glistered almost as brightly as the heavy sweat dripping down their foreheads. Their movements were fixed, trained from a young age, that much was clear. A group of young female courtiers had of course gathered, watching very intently and batting their eyelashes. There was one man  however that got no looks, who was practicing rigorously without break, his look focused on his opponent. So far none had beaten him. 

Pain rippled over my face as I observed him, and the red-head watching from a distance with the usual sourness. As if having a sixth sense, the tall blonde looked up from her book and immediately asked: "What's wrong?" 

I hadn't quite noticed how heavy my heart had been until she'd asked the question and it all rose to my throat. The tears seemed to spill themselves, I had no way of stopping them and I pulled my hand to my nose, as if it could hide the grief. No words came out, only a high pitched whine, which did not help my dignity. As if I'd ever had that. 

The first chance I'd had I had flung myself at the man I loved, knowing that it endangered a whole land. I did not want to tell my grandfather, to talk about such things with him made me very uncomfortable. Even mentioning his name around the old man made everything awkward. He did not what to do. I did have a chamber maid, but they are not known for their ability to keep secrets. They practically came out of the womb gossiping. Other than that I had no confidante except the young courier. If there was anyone who would not get it it would be Alyss, for her duty always came before herself. But it weighed heavy on my mind and I hoped that in sharing my secret the burden would ease.

I shook my head violently. "It's, I-... uh, we... kissed." 

Pure shame filled me up, she knew what kind of danger I'd put the country in. If anyone found out it would surely mean war. I was already preparing to listen to the long sermon on the dangers of it, but it never came. Instead Alyss put her book away and looked out of the window, knowing who I meant. She frowned, folded her hands in her lap, looked at them, then outside again, before resting one on my knee. 

"I think I would have done the same." The tall courier whispered gently. 

And just like that a bit of the weight slid off my shoulders. I looked at her carefully, as if anything I might do hurt her opinion of me. "Really? But you're a courier, surely you would never make such a mistake." 

"Oh I wouldn't have planned it, I would not actively pursue my person of interest while he's engaged to another woman. But if he came to me and stood close by, I think, no... I know I would slip up." She smiled sadly. 

I raised a brow, forgetting about the hurt momentarily as a grin formed on my lips. "Oh? Anyone in particular that could make you 'slip up'?" 

Her face formed that special, held back smile that revealed no secrets, but conveyed just enough emotion to scratch the surface. "There is. But I am not sure when I will see him again." 

"And what is he like? Tall, dark and handsome?" I teased, clearly being under the impression that Alyss' type was some kind of knight in shining armor. "Surely he would have a beard, right?" 

I nudged her with my knee, but she only rolled her eyes, then picked up her book again. She had bared her inner thoughts enough for that day it seemed. 

The rest of the morning bled into the midday and then afternoon, as suddenly I was needed by my old travel companion who insisted on taking a long walk through the forest. My grandfather was as stubborn as a donkey. After that afternoon tea was immediately served and I sat with him to read tales of old, but he begged to hear one he had never before. Finding a suitable tale had taken us till the end of the afternoon, at which point I had to leave as my appearance was required at the grand banquet for that night, to which all the wedding guests were invited. It wasn't like the dinners my grandfather usually attended alone, this was supposed to be the last grand feast, before the tournament would commence.