𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑎𝑤𝑛 | 𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍

21 ⋆☾⋆A late confession

It didn't take long to befriend the elegant blonde from the Library, as she told me in detail about arranged marriages and the diplomatic importance they could hold. And of course many book recommendations. She'd arrived a few days prior so she'd had a little bit more time to asses the collection kept here. In the end we kept circling back to the book I'd taken out at first.

I'd also found out she made a remarkable partner for ordering a dress for the wedding as she wasn't afraid to giver honest opinion when a color didn't suit me. She in return loved it when I talked about the adventures I'd gone on as a a Ranger. Seeing as the diplomatic services and Ranger's corps often worked together closely, I figured it hadn't been a problem if she knew. Though most Rangers didn't even know, I still had no idea if the King was aware of my existence to be honest.

Also something, or rather someone, who Alyss loved dearly was my ever so radiant horse. Vacker had stolen her heart completely once she looked into those intelligent brown eyes which had looked her up and down. As the Diplomat's apprentice had said: "She is just as judgy as I am, I feel as though our souls are forged from the same material."

It was nice to have someone to laugh with about the frilly things people at the court did, such as the crazy hairstyles the women wore that were the 'latest fashion'. It was most fun trying to throw things into one of their coups from the open window in the library. It had taken a bit of convincing on her part, as she was a bit afraid she'd highly offend them. But I'd talked her over with the argument that we weren't even that likely to hit them as we were a bit too high up for that. The thrill of it made it so fun though, imagining the moment one of those shrill shrieks would echo through the courtyard was worth it all.

Our friendship is what kept me at least a bit stable enough to face Gilan and his fiancée every day when they'd walk through the halls. What worried me was how pale and slightly hollow his face had become. The thought that maybe he was as miserable as I was sadly never passed my mind at time. I had just blamed it onto nerves. That didn't stop me from getting in many restless nights where I snuck into the library to change out whatever book I'd just finished. It was on one of those trips on Saturday night, two days before the tournament would start, that I encountered the man I'd tried to avoid all of my stay.

With my steps light as a feather, I darted through the halls, eager to get the sequel to the story I'd just finished. It was a simple romance novel, but it got me nonetheless. It was nice to read about the girl actually getting with her warrior. I, however, slammed full force into mine and he was just able to keep to his feet as his green eyes stared at me in surprise.

"Jezus, that wasn't quite what I'd expected in the middle of the night," he groaned, clutching his ribs.

I held a hand over my mouth and touched his chest with the other, "I'm so sorry Gil, are you alright?"

Immediately a smooth grin leaked onto his lips," Of course, now that you're here," and he had the balls to add a wink. Part of me swooned, the other part got a bit sick.

But I had to shut out every feeling, stump it out until it was no more than a dull lump of coal. Whereas earlier it had been frowned upon, now it would cost lives. And not just ours, the ones of innocents. And what the flirting concerned, that was just how he was, he acts like that with everyone.

"I, uh, was on the way to the library," holding up my book I turned off all emotion on my face, "Good night,"

I pushed past him, tears already threatening to burst out. He had other plans, because he seized my wrist with a lover's gentleness and looked at me with a hurt gaze.

"Don't shut me out again, please. I could bear being enemies or even fighting, but I can't live at the thought of never having been in your heart at all." In the dim light of the moonlight I could almost swear I saw tears flickering as well.