The Nanny Affair

Chapter 25- Jasper

Monday morning comes and I feel like crap. I call June and tell her I'll be out for a few days. She says she will inform the rest of the office and let me rest. I throw my phone and place my head back into the pillow. Last night was pure agony as I waited for her to walk in. I should have known that when I let her go that I would lose part of me.

The more nights pass, the more painful it becomes for me to let her go. Knowing that her lips may have come into contact with another's makes me sick to my stomach. I can't help but imagine what it would be like to be replaced in her life. I can't bear to think of the moments she spends with another man, and I am afraid that this new relationship will make her forget about me.

Wednesday morning, David comes walking in. He throws one of the pillows to wake me up. I groan and tell him to "fuck off" but he keeps nudging me.

"I don't know what is happening between you too but I overheard Natty and Rosie talking last night and dude you need to go get your girl."

"Why?" I sit up and face him, "She has made it very clear that she doesn't care. She's here for the boys and that's it." I rub my face. "I'm not going to force her into something she doesn't want."

"Man, shut up and get dressed," He throws my shirt at me. "She just left for her run. Go after her, I'm telling you dude, apparently tonight is the night between her and the new man. Natty has tried to stop her but she's stubborn." I see red as those words come out of his mouth.

I quickly get up and get dressed, running to my car and backing out. Pulling onto the road as quick as I can and head to Harbour Front where I know she loves to run. I see my truck in the distance and pull into the parking lot. I put the car in park and cut the engine.

One glance up and I see her, and him. He holds her hand and caresses her face. Her eyes sparkle with delight as she blushes. I am filled with a combination of sorrow and envy. That should be me. But it isn't. We used to be one person, Rosie and I. But now we're two hearts torn apart. And I watch the future I envisioned for us; our future— Go up in smoke.

I try to tell myself that it was never meant to be, that our dreams of a life together were just an illusion. But what we had was real, and I'm angry that she could easily turn to another man. No matter what I tell myself, I can't help but feel a deep sense of loss and betrayal. I suppose I'm still struggling to understand how we went from such a passionate connection to nothing but ash.

I start the engine and pull away as soon as I see his lips touch hers. I feel betrayed and hurt. I put my foot down on the accelerator and speed all the way home, passing every car I can. I pull into the driveway and park the car. I step out and head inside. David sits there and my face says it all. He nods his head and walks past me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry man. I'll be in the guest house if you need me."

I don't say a word as he walks away. I head to the kitchen and grab a glass and pour myself some bourbon. Screw it, at seven in the morning I need something to calm myself before I start to go crazy. My body starts to tremble as I feel anger fill every inch of my bones. I hate this feeling. I've worked so hard to control my anger and this, this is what's going to break me. I hear the front door open and Rosie walks in.

"Morning," She says with a smile as if nothing happened.

"Did you have fun with your new boy toy?" I ask her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," I turn to face her.

"Jasper, I'm not doing this." She says with anger in her voice.

"You're right. Your to busy with your new fuck buddy." I look her dead in the eyes.

I see the fire grow within her as she bites the inside of her cheek. Her eyes set on me. I can tell that her anger and frustration is rising, and I know she's close to lashing out. I hold her gaze and take a step forward. I feel my old self begin to take over as the image of her kissing him runs through my mind. I can feel the fire in my veins, and before I can stop myself, the words start spilling out.

"What? Can't say anything cause you know it's true?" I state. "You went from me to him in a matter of days. Must be nice to have options."

I watch as the anger grows in her eyes. She spits out her words, venom dripping from her tongue as she speaks.

"Who I sleep with is my business, not yours." She states slowly. She steps closer. "Let's get one thing straight. We started off as employer and employee, then became friends, which is cool. But what we had was all pretend. We can be friends, and I'll support you through whatever life throws at you, but don't forget where this all began." She places her finger on my chest and says, "You don't get to tell me who I can and can not sleep with."

She walks away and I yell, "He only wants to fuck you!" She stops in her tracks and turns to me.

"Just like you did?" She says looking at me, no emotions convey her. Her words are like a sharp blade, slicing through the air and piercing through my heart.

"Fuck you Rosie." I yell angrily as I hurl my glass across the room.

"Fuck you too!" She shouts from the hall.

I run my hands through my hair and head to my room. Knocking everything I can off shelves. I try to contain my anger, but it's bubbling up in me and threatening to burst out. My fists turn white and I grit my teeth in rage, feeling like I'm about to explode. I look in the mirror and see the man I tried to conceal come to light. I hate myself for the way I spoke to her but at the same time, I feel powerless to control it. I look into the hall and see her emerge from her room. Her gaze sets on me as she rolls her eyes and slams her bedroom door.

I look back into the mirror and my green eyes turn dark as the street kid emerges within me. My fist collides with the mirror, shattering the glass and reflecting my frustration. I watch the blood drip onto the floor and make my way to the bathroom, stopping when I hear her phone go off.

"Yes, Natty. I've made up my mind. Jasper and I are over. Actually we were never a thing. He pretty much told me today that I was just someone to sleep with." She tells her friend.

Anger consumes because that's not how I feel, it was my anger that spoke. My fist collides with the wall, leaving a fist size hole in it.

I feel like I'm alone in this world as I watch the day pass by me. The night falls quickly and I hear her heels click along the tiles. Her silhouette in the dark draws me to her, and as I look into her eyes I can't help but feel unable to breathe at what I know is about to happen tonight. My heart shatters as her eyes fix on mine. She slowly turns her head as sadness consumes me. The pain in my heart grows as I watch her walk away. I try with all my being to go after her, but I can't seem to move. I hear the door close as I get to it, and I don't know what to do.

Fuck it!

I grab the bottle of bourbon and drink straight from it until I can't feel anything anymore. I make my way to my room and lay in bed. The more I think of someone else's hands all over her, the more irate I become. If she wants to play this game then I can play too. I pick up my phone and make the one phone call I know I shouldn't.

"Hey, Handsome."

"I'm home alone, how fast can you get here?" I ask.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

I hang up and drink some more as I wait for my little playmate to show up. Time passes, and the doorbell rings. I answer the door and find my little playmate standing there in the doorway, with a cheeky grin on her face. Her hair is back to blonde, twinkling eyes, and a bright yellow dress. I'm taken aback for a moment, before I remember why she's here.

Ah, yes for my entertainment.

"Come on in Gisselle."

I open the door wider to allow her in and she takes my hand, heading to my bedroom.