The Nanny Affair

Chapter 36- Rosalie

He holds me in his arms and I know he means it when he says he can protect me. He radiates warmth, strength, and compassion and I feel safe in his embrace. The sound of his breathing and the beat of his heart give me assurance that no matter what the world throws at us, he will be there to hold me close and keep me safe.

"I'm going to clean up," He nods and kisses my cheek as he tells me he is going to shower.

I head to my room and pass Natty and David as they enter the house.

I throw on black workout pants, a white T-shirt over my sports bra, and my sneakers. I walk out to see them all looking at me.

"Where are you headed?" Jasper asks me.

"For a run. I need to clear my head." I grab the keys to Jasper's car and start to walk out.

"You aren't going alone." Jasper says as he grabs my arm.

I shake him and just look into his eyes. "I need a minute to myself," And just walk out. I get in the car and start the engine. Making my way down to the Harbour Front. I park the car and look at the lake in front of me. I step out and the cool air fills my lungs. I step on the rocks that lead out to the lake, I look around as silence fills the air. Memories of my past fill my head and I feel an urge to run, run from Jasper and the boys just to keep them safe. If Cole had just killed me that night, I wouldn't have to worry about the situation I just put this family in.

I watch the current rush underneath me as I stand on the rocks above. I close my eyes and wish that all my pain and sorrow could wash away with it. I stand on the edge of the rocks and observe the seemingly unstoppable power of the water beneath me. I'm mesmerized by its strength and beauty as it pushes forward, never hesitating in its pursuit to the unknown. I feel a deep connection to the water and I wonder if maybe it carries with it a message meant only for me.

"Told you I would find you." I recognize it, the voice that has haunted me, the voice of my past. My body freezes and fills with fear. Every muscle in my body tenses, and my heart begins to race. I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake from. I want to scream, but I can't make a sound. I take a deep breath and try to calm down, but my fear just keeps growing. I stand there, rooted to the spot and completely frozen in terror.

I turn around and Cole stands right in front of me. I look around, trying to figure out what is happening, but I don't know what to do or where to go. Cole's presence sends a chill down my spine and I find myself completely paralyzed with fear. I frantically search for a way out, but before I can make my escape, Cole grabs my arm.

"Oh, love. Didn't you miss me?" He presses his lips against mine and I try to pull away.

"Get off me." I shout.

His grip on my arm tightens as he leans in, "Scream all you want, no one is around to hear you."

Terror fills me and before I know it I'm on the rocks. He punches my face and as I spit out blood, he laughs, "Did you really think you could run and not be punished for it?" He hits me once again. "You will always be mine."

"I'll never be yours," I choke out.

He places himself on top of me, and his body weight stops me from moving. His eyes are cold as ice looking into mine. "So be it." His hands grip my neck and I feel myself struggling to breathe. I scream and fight against his strength, desperately trying to break free, but it is no use. He continues to grip me tighter and tighter, until I fear I will not survive. I try to call out for help, but the words choke in my throat. Nothing but silence comes out, like a wall has been built between me and the outside world.

The fear that washes over me is nearly unbearable. I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, dampening the ground beneath me. The blood trickling from my lips drips down my face. The only thoughts running through my head is he's going to kill me and no one will ever know it was him.

I brace myself for the impact, my heart beating so fast I'm certain it will jump out of my chest, his fist collides once more with my face. I can taste the metallic tang of my own blood, smell the sweat of his hands as they grip my body, hear his voice loud and booming in my ears as he cusses me out. I pray for it all to be over, for the nightmare to end, for his fists to stop pounding against my face and body.

Finally, I feel his grip start to loosen and I gasp for air. I stumble away from him, my heart pounding in my chest. A glimmer of the sun allows me to make out David. While the police are making their way toward us, he is holding Cole in his arms. When one of the officers asks if I'm okay, my heart begins to race and my head begins to pound. When I touch my face, a sharp pain immediately arises, and it causes me to wince. I can feel the warm and sticky blood on my fingers from when I touch my lip. "I'm okay," I tell the officer, though I'm far from it. I try to maintain my composure, but I can feel the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.

The officers take Cole off David's hands and handcuff him. David comes to my side and helps me up. He wraps his arm around me as we watch the Police drive off with Cole. Tears stream down my face as we watch the car disappear around the corner. My body trembles from shock and fear. David holds me tightly and speaks reassuring words in my ear, letting me know that everything will be alright.

"How...how did you know I was here?" I ask, the words coming out slow and painful.

"Jasper told me to follow you." He looks at me and smiles, "I'm glad I did."

He assists me in getting into his car and turns it on. He calls Jasper to let him know we are returning. David informs him that there was some trouble, but I'm okay, but he isn't given any further information regarding what transpired or the extent of my injuries. I place my head against the window and watch as the sun sparkles over the frozen lake.

My place of peace has now been tainted by my worst fear. The front doors swing open as soon as we get there, and Jasper runs out. I fight the urge to look at him when he opens the passenger door. I wince when his hands touch my face as he turns me to face him and cups my chin. I can see the sadness and heartbreak in his eyes as he examines me. He looks away and takes a deep breath. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. I can feel my heart cracking and tears begin to pool in my eyes.

He helps me inside and guides me to his room. He sits me down on the bed and runs to the bathroom to get a cloth. He comes back and crouches down in front of me as he places the cold cloth on my lip. His gentle touch and calming voice is a salve to my wounded soul. He wipes away my tears as he slowly strokes my cheek and speaks softly, assuring me that everything is going to be alright. But fear grips me. Despite his assurances, the uncertainty of my future looms large.

"I need a minute," I tell him as I get up. He sits there frozen as I walk away.

I give Natty a sideways glance as she approaches me and shake my head to indicate that I'm not interested. She takes a step back, giving me some space to catch my breath. I finish closing the door and then lean against it to rest. I lose control of my body and fall to the floor, struggling for air. It feels as if my shirt is getting tighter the more I try to take it off, and this makes it difficult for me to remove it. I'm finally able to take it off, and I hurl it across the room. As they slide down my cheek, the tears sting my face as they fall. I slowly raise myself to my feet and make my way towards the washroom.

Tears stream down my cheeks, the emotion I had suppressed finally surfacing. I stare at my face and watch the bruises form. I could feel the power in his fists and his rage. He had beaten me, leaving me feeling broken and dejected. I had done nothing wrong, and yet I was the one punished.

I dig through the drawers in the bathroom and pull out the healing cream I thought I'd never have to use again. I gently apply it to my wounds, trying not to cry every time I touch them. I look in the mirror, and all I can see is a reflection of my defeat. Tears come streaming down my face, and I try to stop them, but it feels like I've been trying to do that for too long now. The exhaustion is starting to take its toll on me, and I can feel my spirit being dragged down.

Looking one last time in the mirror, I make a decision that will change this family's life forever. As I wipe my tears away, I remind myself I don't believe in self pity cause it only brings you down. The deck is stacked against me, and the only way out is to play a different game. I walk out of my room and head to where everyone is. I look at Jasper,

"Can we talk?"