The Nanny Affair

Chapter 26- Rosalie

My days and nights have felt lonely, my evenings have been entertained by Lucas. Don't get me wrong, he is cute but he isn't Jasper. Jasper, who I had a deep connection with, would make my heart skip a beat with just one glance. Now, without him by my side, I can't help but feel a certain emptiness that is hard to fill. I know I'm the one who put an end to all this but no matter what he was always going to marry Gisselle. She would make sure of that.

After today's fight with him, I'm more confused than ever. He said he loved me but today he acted like I was just some whore who walked into his life. The words cut deep as he spoke them, sending a chill down my spine. I've been hiding in my room ever since. But my mind keeps going back to how I feel so safe in his arms. Or how his touch makes me feel, or how his kiss made me fall in love with him.

My phone goes off, breaking my thoughts.

"Hey Natasha,"

"Hey, girl. How is everything?"

"Seriously, I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't seem to wake from." I tell her.

"Well, are you still planning on, you know, with Lucas tonight?" Concern is heard in her voice.

"Yes, Natty. I've made up my mind. Jasper and I are over. Actually, we were never a thing. It's time for me to move on. He pretty much told me today that I was just someone to sleep with."

"No, he didn't," She gasps.

I lose my focus on our conversation as I hear something break in Jasper's room.

"Hello?" Natty questions me.

"Ya, sorry. Well, not exactly like that. He told me Lucas just wants to fuck me, and I responded with, like you? He got really angry after that, and I've been in my room since."

"Damn, okay. Well, call me later when you get home."

"I will. Night!" I hang up and look at the time. I head to the bathroom and start the shower. Images run through my mind of Jasper's hand running along my body as he kisses my neck. I shake the thoughts out of my head. Natty tells me I need to slow down with Lucas but what she doesn't understand is I don't need a man. Except for Jasper my mind reminds me. I vowed to never let anyone ever control me again but yet something pulls me to him. I don't know if it's his forest green eyes that captivate my soul, or his body that makes me wet by just looking at him. Or the fact that when his arms are wrapped around me I feel safe, safer then I have ever felt.

I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me as I stand in front of the mirror.

"Being with Lucas will take my mind off of Jasper," I tell myself. So why do I feel guilty about what I'm about to do?

I head to my closet and pull out a summer dress that's low cut. I pull my hair into a sleek ponytail and lightly put on some make-up. My phone goes off and I grab it,

Meet me at Woodbine beaches, the text reads.

I smile and reply with an okay. I put my phone down and finish getting ready. I grab my heels and put them on, taking one last look in the mirror. I look cute! I smile at myself.

I leave my bedroom, grabbing my purse on the way out. Walking down the hall I see Jasper walk into his room. My heart skips a beat as I watch him walk away. I stand at the door, contemplating which car I should take. The Rover is his baby so I grab the keys to the truck and head out. Taking one last look down the hall towards his bedroom hoping that he will stop me. But nothing. I blink back my tears and head out.

Putting the car in drive, I head down the road and make my way down to the beaches. I see Lucas' car and park next to him. I look around and see him sitting on a blanket in the sand watching the moonlight hit the lake. I step out and make my way to the path before taking my heels off and walking in the warm sand.

"Hey," I say as I get closer to him.

"Hey," He stands up and kisses my cheek.

I take a seat next to him and he opens the basket he brought, which is filled with fruits, bread and cheeses. He pulls out a bottle of wine and pours each of us a glass. As the night goes on we talk and I feel comfortable. As we sit there and talk my eyes can't seem to remove themselves from his ocean blue eyes. He moves closer to me and his lips press against mine.

I felt the warmth of his embrace and was drawn in by the intensity of the moment. I was entranced by the moment, in awe of the feeling that flooded through me. He pulls me onto his lap, his hands trailing up and down my lower back. His touch was gentle and light, but the emotion behind it was unmistakable. His arms curled around my waist and I leaned into his chest, feeling the warmth radiating off of him. His lips moved to my neck and my hands trailed down his stomach as I gripped the bottom of his shirt and lifted it over his head.

His bare chest pressed against mine and I could feel his racing heartbeat. His skin felt smooth and soft, like silk. My hands caressed every hardline on his body as his hands made their way up my thighs and in a moment that I knew should have felt great made me feel sick. I pull away and say,

"I'm sorry I can't do this." I get up, grab my heels and purse and head to the truck.

I sit down and start the engine. I hit the steering wheel and start to cry. The night fills with silence as I drive. Stopped at a light I'm reminded of the times Jasper and I have had together.

He's tied to my heart like a kite to a string. He was right, we had something; we were something. I thought I could walk away but it's not easy. I sit at the light, I wish I could get him out of my mind.

I just can't escape him. No matter what I do or how much I try, I can't unlove him. I feel like I'm slowly dying as his hooks dig deeper into my soul.

As I pull up to the drive, I see the lights on. I put the truck in park and get out. Heading to the door. I brace myself before unlocking it. I'm going to go in there and take the risk. I'm going to tell him how much I care. I take a deep breath and open the door. I'm nervous, but I know that this could be the moment that changes everything.

I head to his bedroom and knock on the door before opening it. I slowly opened the door to find him standing shirtless with some girl's hands all over him. His lips on her as her hand travels down his pants and I feel sick to my stomach. His eyes lock on mine, and he pulls away from the girl. His face, full of guilt and shame as he saw the betrayal in my eyes. The girl turns around and I'm face to face with the one and only Gisselle. I blink back my tears and walk out. I quickly slammed the door shut, unable to bear the scene in front of me.

My heart pounding, my hands shaking, and a hollow emptiness in the pit of my stomach I walked away from the house, with a sense of profound loss. I head to the guest house and knock on the door, knowing Natty is there. She opens the door and looks at me with sadness and concern covering her face. She pulls me into a hug and tries to soothe the pain away. I step inside and sit down, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.

I go over the night with her and tell her how I realized Jasper was right. But when I got back, it was clear that I was a mere source of physical entertainment for him.

David gets up and paces back and forth. "He's such an idiot."

"No, he is not. This is my fault. I told him what we had was nothing to protect myself. He found his way back to Gisselle," I tell him.

"I can guarantee he went back to being the same Jasper that let his anger control him. I should have known when I saw him drink straight from the bottle." I see the anger in his face. He walks out the door and slams it behind him.

As time passes, I start to cry again. Natasha puts her arm around me and says, "Everything will be okay."

I shake my head. "I hate myself right now for what I'm thinking." I say. "I've never been one to have regrets; hell, I don't even regret what Cole did to me. But I regret the day I laid eyes on Jasper."

Natty's face goes pale as she looks behind me. I turn to see Jasper standing at the door with David.

The look on his face is filled with hurt by the words that I just spoke. I feel a pang of guilt and shame as I think back to all the wonderful moments we had shared. His silence was deafening and I knew there was nothing I could say or do to take back the words that had escaped my lips. I take a deep breath and stand up, I make my way past David and Jasper and head to the house. Tears begin to stream down my face as I feel the impact of my words settle in.