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"Hey Ally do you want to go get food" Lexi asks I glance at the male beside her wondering what on earth she is doing. "Uh" "Alex is meeting us there" Tyler said making me smile. Alex was kinda my study partner we were friends. "Ok then" I nod smiling.
I walk beside them laughing at the random joke Tyler just said. Ignoring most of there flirting. A car slowed down right in front of us capturing my attention "your in the wrong neighbourhood" I scream as shots rang out. The car drove away leaving me and Lexi in utter shock as Tyler lay on the ground bleeding out. My hands were shaking tears were in my eyes. Lexi snapped out of her shock first jumping to help him. I was much slower not knowing what to do. My eyes hadn't left Tyler the whole time. "Lexi hey remember us" I heard before tuning out of the rest of the conversation to in shock to pay attention.
I sat beside Lexi in a room at the district when Al came in. I hadn't said a word. "Lindsay get Halstead" "dad" Lexi said moving into his arms leaving me alone with me thoughts. I become very aware of how much my hands are shaking now that she's not here. "Al you...Ally" I could hear but it was so muffled like I was underwater but I knew it was dad. He gently grabs my hands making my eyes snap up to him. It's like I new what he was doing before I was looking at him. He held my shaking hands tightly just watching me. For a moment it was silent between us before I break. The tears finally falling as I launch myself into his arms. I felt him stumble as my body impacted with his but we didn't fall. "I'm sorry I'm sorry daddy" I kept repeating he just rubbed my back telling me it was all going to be ok. I didn't feel like it was going to be ok though.
I hadn't spoke or left my dads side since everything. I stood beside him as he got his things "hey Ally" I snap my head to him the way he was looking at me made me feel like I had missed an entire conversation "can you sit in my chair for a sec I'm just going to talk to Voight in there" I slowly nod following his instructions "so is your name Ally" the blonde cop said I don't say anything though "it's Alice and she's his kid" Al said causing me to weakly smile at him, he just nods. "Well now I know I can see it" the girl I think her name is Ella Elsie Erin it's something like that. She's dads partner. "Come on kiddo" I didn't even hear dad come over. I jump up placing myself in his arms. "Jay" erin or whatever her name is said. "Not right now erins she needs me we'll talk soon promise" he said before leading me downstairs to his car.
"Can you try talk to me Ally bug I'm starting to miss your voice and laugh" I frown "i it all just happened I can't stop it keeps playing" I gasp out crying making him pull me to him holding me tightly "it will get easier I promise how about we watch lion king" I nod into him letting him lead me to the couch. I rest my head on his chest his arms securely around me. "What was mum like" he shifts looking at me "she was a lot like you brave and smart" "your brave and smart" he hums "she was kind and caring and above all she loved hard she always claimed I was hers long before you joined us family" he adjust getting comfortable "she will come back" I nod "I know" my voice was quiet as a mouse "when was the last time you spoke to her" "bens birthday she made sure to call me" he nods. "Your mum is the most beautiful woman in the room she put her dreams on hold to have you now it's her turn because she knows I got this" he said playing with my hair "i remember her teaching me how to do your hair when I came back or when I was having bad ptsd days she would rush in to get you and make you come and snuggle with me" "don't think she had to try very hard I loved snuggling with you" I didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling. "Now I need you like you needed me back then" he hummed holding me tighter "your mum racing down the hall in the middle of the night to get you and then hearing you giggling and your footsteps getting closer somehow always made me better...obviously she had sure I was ok and not bringing you into anything dangerous" he said "did you ever hurt her" the silence was deafening making me sit up and look at him. I saw that he was lost in thought "dad....you don't have to" "when I would sleep I would be back there the amount of times I would walk her up because I was back there an she would try to help but...I would react in ways that I regret so much sometimes I wonder if she went off because of that" "pretty sure if she left because of that she wouldn't have left me you know the most prized possession" "the worst was when we were cleaning up it was dark I can't remember if we had any lights on or just the candles and little lamp things she loved I don't remember what it was a sound or a smell I don't know she probably has a different recollection of that night" I could hear the pain in his voice "dad you don't have to really you don't have to tell me anything" "it's ok I want to tell you it's just working up to it and now your asking" "doesn't mean you have to say" he smiles "I want to" I nod turning so I was facing him comfortably but still holding onto him. "I was just back there on the dirty field trucks and other vehicles around me mouse called something and I turn around to hear him when I was grabbed I instantly shoved the person against the nearby sandstone wall" I smile at him loving that his creating this picture for me. I squeeze his arm reminding him I was here. "I remember one of my comrades telling me to kill them someone else was asking how they ambushed us and if there was more. My name was being shouted it was so loud and distance. Suddenly a shot rang out making me push further into the person screaming for answers...that's when I saw my hand was around her neck I I didn't move until I heart you running down the hall. I stumbled back right as you came out asking why we woke you up. She was crying and that broke me" the tears in his eyes hurt my heart. "You were so innocent just wanting to know" he sighed rubbing his face before grabbing my open hand "you mother was on the floor just staring at me I couldn't look at either of you my mind reeling from what I was slowly realising I did. You said 'daddy' I don't know if you said something before that I turn to look at you you had this demanding look you wanted to know and you weren't going to back down I just knew. Your mother told you to go back to your room but you wouldn't move. Her voice was so raspy that it was like a shot through my soul knowing I caused that, then realisation came that she was trying to get you away from me. I remember her say 'Alice baby go to your room and don't come out' I knew you didn't understand but you went. You were to young to know your mother was protecting you from me. That crippled me. After you left she called me tried everything begged me to just look at her. But I couldn't. Then she yelled for me to look at her and I did. I could see my hand prints around her neck if I hadn't have heard you I may have killed her and that terrified me. I left that night stumbled out of the house and didn't come back I couldn't." "Dad" "if I hadn't of heard you I would have killed her" he repeated "obviously you came back" "I didn't didn't have any intention of it either I was prepared to let go to make sure the two most important women in my life were safe from me that I wasn't a nightmare in your dreams" he sighed "your mum found me a week later that she practically begged me to come back saying she loved me over and over again and then did the one thing she knew I couldn't say no to" I tilt my head confused "you she brought you you were so so happy to see me it made me melt instantly all you wanted to do was be with me around me...then it came time for you guys to go I had been so adamant I wasn't going with you guys...but hearing you cry from your mothers arms just wanting me. I couldn't listen so I went over and just held you. Truth was I hadn't slept properly since I had your little body beside mine even if I occasionally ended up with a foot to the face it kept me sane grounded, I came back after that told your mum it was temporary but as we can see she was right when she said I would never leave because I loved you both far to much" he smiled sadly "do you still love her" "never stopped" "than why aren't you together" "maybe when she's in the country we will try" he shrugged before pulling me to him kissing my head "thank you for five minutes I wasn't thinking about it" he smiled sadly "it will get better just like your little foot to my face keeping me grounded and sane" "so what I have to get a dog to keep me grounded" dad snorted "no nice try though if you can't sleep or anything happens you come get me I don't care the time we will sit up and watch the Office or friends or something until your brain switches off from it" he told me making me smile.
