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I had been sober for a week. I still yurn for it, but all the other symptoms the shakes, mind fog had gone. Downside I'm back to being in pain. My knee was aching all the time i rarely got a break. I did figure out how to hide how much pain I'm in. I have a slight limp but for most part it's barely noticeable.
"I don't know Ally" Emilia said from beside me we were walking down the street. It was hurting having to dodge all the people but I was surviving. "I need something" "I'm pretty sure it's illegal for us to go without an adult" "Mack loves my dad he'll let us" "I told my dad I was staying at yours if he" I ignore her fear and worry "I need to be me again" I said to myself.
I walk up to the desk smiling "Alice" he greeted "how did you" "you have the same smile and eyes as when you were little" Mack said smirking "can I" "you aren't eighteen pretty sure your dad would have said" he said "please" "let her I'll sign or whatever" I spin seeing my uncle Everett smiling. Considering I had been here with him and my mum, Mack knew he was my uncle.
I was standing there the gun in my hands. Mack had made sure I had the right stance and everything. Dad had taught me to shoot, mum as well. It was once a regular thing. After getting over the fear I was broken. My hands shoot so much at first Everett was scared to let go. I'm ok now though. I had gone through two sheets of paper. I sigh running out of bullets putting the gun down. I jump as something touches my shoulder. "Easy kiddo" I relax instantly hearing my dads voice "how did you" "your uncle called me you really think him and Mack both would let you and not call me" I remain silent "ally talk to me" "I just I was so scared I thought" he sighs "one more round then we are going to lunch I want to talk to you" "I don't want to talk" "I know that's why I am" he said walking over to my uncle leaving me stumped.
I sat opposite my dad awkwardly swinging my legs. "When I was in Afghanistan all I could think about was you how your smile lit up a room how you would laugh and just make everyone happier you were only like three I think you were really young your mum sent me so many videos of you dancing which I'm told even back then you preferred to read....i would tell the guys about you the snippets of this great big personality I felt shit for only being there for a few weeks or months at a time but I knew I just had to go back even if I wanted to stay with you and never leave. Whenever I came back the guys the whole group it wasn't just my team it was a few from different squads they would all ask about you a lot of them don't have kids but they all loved seeing you would get so excited to see videos of you they wanted to see this happy light amongst the darkness we were in...you would be doing just random things I remember you were reading in one you were so impressed with the new book you got you were pointing out the pictures to me everything...I didn't care how simple it was whether it was you dancing or singing or reading or just telling me about your day I just loved hearing your voice and I showed everyone I could" I sipped his breath taking a breath "then when I came back I couldn't let go...I wanted you to be in my arms your mother wanted to take you protect you but you were brave so so brave I often wondered if you were braver than me....you were six when I came back and even when I was having the worst flashback your little hand and you saying something like daddy are you ok or daddy do you want to play it just it always just brought me back you refused to leave I never had a nightmare when you slept with me and you were attached...I'd listen to you breathing for hours though" I smile "why are you" "to tell you that sometimes even the simplest things shine light in the darkest hours" ""It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." "Exactly" "it's by Aristotle" "who" "Greek philosopher from the BC times" "any other fancy quotes about light" "many" I smirk feeling myself "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." "Who that one by" "it's Plato his from ancient Greek" "any not from Ancient Greek" "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within......it's my favourite it's by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross she's a Swiss-American psychiatrist and author" "that sounds like one from our time" I giggle sipping my milkshake "I don't want you going to school you can come to work not to help" he points a finger at me "you will do online school or computer school whatever it's called and read while we are there "no objects from me but what happens when you work long hours" "if I have to stay back you can go with Kim or Adam they have Makayla so they'll leave early" I knew better than to argue about me staying home. "Will they...last time I was with Adam" "hey he doesn't care his moved on of course I'll have to clear it with them of course and if they can't Voight usually leaves and he'll probably let me leave as long isn't vital" he said I nod "you'll hang out in the break room or the back room whichever...back rooms quieter pretty sure not certain but Voight may even let you get us coffees and answer phones we need a person to answer phones" "I hate talking to people" he rolls his eyes "you'll love it if it's something different" I hum wondering if maybe that might be true.
