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I walk into the kitchen sighing. I rub my forehead feeling exhausted as I put the coffee machine on. I lean on the counter wondering what I'm going to do this fine Sunday. Normally I'd be with Emilia but with what happened to Diego that won't happen. I heard movement making my snap my attention up. Dad walks into the room smiling "late start" he nods "coffees on can you pour me one when it's don't I'm going to go change" "of course" he said kissing my head.
I had brushed my hair, even if it looked fine. Also changing into comfy clothes (just tights and a shirt) for the day. I walk into the living room/kitchen area freezing. There stood my dad and Erin. She was smiling standing close to him, his arms around her. It didn't take a genius to work out what happened. Tears in my eyes I turn out hearing him to tell her to leave before I woke up.
I went on a walk to clear my head. Not much clearing I only got mad. Which is probably how I ended up here with platt letting me up. About to do something that I'll probably get in trouble for but at this point I don't care. I ignore my dad. I walk over slamming my hands on her desk "his married" I snap her eyes wide as she's startled by my actions. "I know all about your little extracurricular actives with my father and if you ruin my family I'll kill you" I whisper before walking away leaving them shocked. I didn't go to the break room just left the whole district. I felt like crying. I heard jogging like someone was chasing me. I knew it would be dad "So who told you" "no one neither one of you are subtle I saw you two this morning" "Alice" he said sighing "what you scared because of Voights rule and now I just exposed you both" I snap I was kissed at him to part of me didn't though because he was my dad. The only parent I physically currently have. "Your ruining our family" I cry out making him sigh "ally me and your mum" "she's knows I know doesn't make it right" he just sighs pulling me into his arms. I didn't want to hug him, right now I hated him. I don't fight though because as much as I hate him I needed comfort. I couldn't stop crying. "No matter what happens you will always be mine and your mums number one" I nod against him "you ruined it why did you have to sleep with her" he didn't have any words. I watch as he open and closed his mouth several times. "I think I want to sleep at uncle Wills he was trying to get me to come over for a weird dance party" I said nodding to myself backing up from him. "Ally I want you to know that despite it seeming like the end of the world" "because it is" he rolls his eyes "me and your mum spoke about this I know in your head I ruined everything and maybe I did but me and your mum if she wasn't away we probably would have been divorced ages ago" "she still loves you" he remains silent "we've been talking about it she knows" "she hoped you wouldn't hoped you would stick to your vows" he rolled his eyes "what I'm trying to tell you is that yes your seeing the end of the family in your head but even if this didn't happen that image wouldn't have been true" I nod I didn't know whether he was trying to defend himself or not. Whether my parents really would be divorced if mum wasn't away. I know mum loves him but does she just love him in a friend type of way. I didn't know whether what dad was saying is true or not, if it is does it mean his cheating still. If mum was here and they would divorce anyways does that still make it cheating, or is their relationship over and the only reason they are together is because right now they can't divorce. "I want you to remember that your the most important thing to both me and your mum" "I want mum" he sighs pulling me to him hugging me tightly. I think I just wanted both my parents. Wished they would be together and happy. I just want my family back. What does it even look like if mum and dad aren't together. Why did it take a year she's been gone for a year. We're they bad before this and I never knew because I'm their kid. I probably won't be able to talk to mum for a few days, a week most. That's been the current cycle, it has gotten up to a few month before but I don't like to think about that. I'm happy I have my dad don't get me wrong, his the one that calms all my feeling about mum.
I sat in my room crying I didn't know where dad was. I just felt so heartbroken. I wanted to know if I ruined it. Was what I said to mum the final straw. I heard a sigh before I felt arms around me "was it me mum asked about you and I told her you were fine and close with who you worked with she asked about your partner and I said she flirted with you I'm sorry she said something about you being close to someone in your unit in the army but I shouldn't worry and she shouldn't be asking" I ramble I felt his hands on my face. "Nothing you do could ever have that much of an impact bug...even if you did basically implant the seed...but it is not you I promise it would never be you. Your not a member of mine and your mums relationship so it's on me and her" I slowly nod laying against her arms "are you and mum getting a divorce...does she know that you would think you would be divorced if she was here" I sat up looking at him "well we are rocky it's been hard with her away...I think if she was here we wouldn't be the way we are and wouldn't need a divorce" "dad does she know I'm not going to hide your dirty little secret" he chuckles "I wouldn't ask that of you also you already told everyone I work with" he sighs "i haven't told her so no she doesn't know" "you know your cheating on her right" he sighs again "me and your mum are complicated but I know to you this seems pretty cut and dry but I promise it's not" he rubs his hand through his hair "your mum knew she would be gone for a long time she didn't want to be gone from you but she need this she gave it up once so I could follow by calling to a war zone...she waited till you reached all your milestones" "dad you and mum" "right your mum knew she would be gone a while even if she didn't want to miss any of your life she knew it was easier leaving after you were in school so you could tell her everything...she knew that I would struggle to with her being away not just with you" he sighs I can tell his struggling to find the words "your mother knows me she knew the longer she was gone the harder I would find it to be faithful...the harder I would find it to be a husband she was right about that wrong about me being a father because that came easy" he mused "your mum told me to do what I had to to stay sane and be the prefect father even said something along the lines of if I need to have sex with another woman it wouldn't be cheating" "I don't get to" "yeah neither all I know is that she said she would be mad if I slept with another woman which I don't get but your mother can be crazy sometimes I felt guilty if you want to know still do" he said "you probably will till you tell her if she said she won't be mad than why did you distance mum told me sorry you don't have to say anything" "probably guilt" he shrugs clearly not sure, he didn't even realise.
