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Pretending to be fine was tiring. "Hurry up Allie" Dad said causing me to sigh. Everything was extra exhausting. I like to pretend my life change forever and that is the reason I'm like this. I lost all these great things cheer, movement. That is however a lie I did cheer for one year and broke my leg at first practice I wasn't even the star. Truth was nothing other than my mind change. My mind never switched off always thinking about it. I only really had one friend Emilia so that didn't change, if anything being the weird girl who got shot really helped me make friends. I was still abnormally obsessed with Harry Potter and carry one of the books around for comfort. I never had a comfort toy growing up I had books and my dad. See I was reading encyclopaedias by the time I started school, mum and dad worked hard to have me reading at a young age. They also made sure I could do math that was more a mum thing. When mum left dad or will would get me all the books they could find and I would sit and read all day. I quickly finish smoking and close the window. I walk over fixing my outfit, my back baggy jacket that I'm pretty sure I stole from my dad or Adam maybe even Kevin. Over a white t, with grey sweats on. Nothing to dressy like normal. Dressing casual was kinda my new thing. It was the new me. I sprayed perfume making sure dad wouldn't sniff the weed on me, before tossing the bottle in my bag. I pack a book to write in and a few pens but mainly my books, the textbook I'm reading, Harry Potter. I make sure I have my purse, phone, weed. I nod to myself before walking out of the room.
"Took your time now we have a case so I probably won't pick you up" he said passing me some toast and a travel mug full of coffee. "Eat in the car" he said stopping me from sitting down and pushing me out the door. "Go with Emilia" I raise an eye brow "what happened to protective dad who won't let me out of your sight" he rolls his eyes opening the door helping me in the truck, a hard task with my knee. "Why can't I go with mum or" "you know why you can't your mother be with your mother just yet" he told me making me sigh I did know I just miss her. I just got her back and now I can't see her. I did know he was right the school shooting triggered her ptsd which she didn't exactly know she had until then. "What about Everett" dad sighs i knew the two weren't friends if one were to assume they hated each other. "Just go with Emilia please" I roll my eyes "fine" I said looking out the window. "See you later" I said seeing the school getting out "hey call the district if you need me for anything" he told me leaning over the truck "ok should I call Voight or platt" he rolls his eyes "could you be anymore direct" "what I don't have to wait on hold" he chuckles "love you" he said "love you dad" I muse before walking into the school.
"Princess" Cole said his arm around my shoulder "wish you would call me anything but that" I sigh "other side" he looks at me confused "my knee" "oh right you need more weed" he whispers "you offering" I glance at him "I'll see what I can do Evan usually has it" I nod "see you in English or whenever I'm spending the day with Emilia you know keep up appearances" "can I join" I raise my eyebrow "in the library do you even know where that is" "I know" he said smirking as he chuckled "I can't stop you" I shrug before walking away.
"Where have you been" Emilia said racing over to me hugging me "I promise I won't comment" she assures me making me nods slowly. "It's only weed I don't do anything else" lie but I wasn't about to tell her I dabble in pills as well. "Ok don't like it but I know you said it helps so I'll ignore it but if I think it starts to be a problem I'm going to tell your dad" I nod "deal" I said smiling "now what are we reading" she questions "renaissance era at least I am" I shrug she hums "want to come to Everett's with me" "doesn't he live on the other side of the city" I nod my head "yep and his cool he'll let us do anything" "like drink and read textbooks" "yep" i muse smiling happily "of course I'll come" she said point her book "only thing you have to think about is if your mum is there" I sigh "yeah I don't know about that she's not meant to be" "wait doesn't your dad hate him" "yeah but who cares" I shrug reading.
The walk was slow. It made me hate myself more the fact I couldn't walk at my normal pace but now at snail pace. Emilia didn't seem to mind though. I knock on the door. "Alice" he sighs when he opens it. I smile innocently "dads busy this is Emilia my life partner" I said walking in "do come in why are you here" "dads busy" I repeat "I heard still doesn't explain it" "would you accept it if I said I missed you" "probably not now make yourself at home" he said aiming the last bit to Emilia knowing I didn't need an invite.
I sat on the balcony smoking at reading, Everett beside me smoking his own, Emilia inside the smell making her sick. "So when did you start" Everett said pointing to my joint "your not going to take it are you" "no relax" I sigh "few weeks now" "does your dad know" "nope" I said popping the p. "How are you really doing" "hating that question makes me want to die" I said looking out at the view.
