As expected, I won.
Halos umiyak na siya kanina kasi hindi niya tanggap ang pagkatalo niya. But unfortunately for him, I have no room for pity in my heart.
Oh wait, do I even have a heart? Haha.
I told him not to bother me for the rest of the day, but he insisted to still go where I go. I agreed—provided the ten meter distance.
Minsan talaga naiisip kong inutusan lang siya ng parents kong bantayan ako. Wala kasing nakakatagal sa akin.
I had tons of friends while I was in high school, but when I discovered about my condition I started pushing them all away. Some went with the flow but others lingered for sometime. Pero mukhang napagod din sila kaiintindi sa akin at kusa nang umalis sa buhay ko.
And until now I still wish, they left earlier. That way it'll hurt less since there won't be more memories to be forgotten.
Now that I think about it, wala sigurong pupunta sa lamay ko Haha. Poor me.
May nakita akong magkasintahan na naghoholding hands while walking palapit s akin. Masyado silang malandi kaya dumaan ako sa gitna nila. Dahila para magkahiwalay ang mga kamay nila.
Mukhan nainis 'yung babae sa akin kaya muli ko silang hinarap.
"Oh sorry. Wala lasing forever at maghihiwalay din kayo. Kbye."
Tumalikod na ako sa kanila at nagsimulang maglakad papalayo.
Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung bakit ang bitter ko sa mga magnobyo at nobya. Yes, I see it as a way of warning them about the consequences that follow, but I'm aware that I go over board sometimes.
And I don't exactly know why.
Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba mamamatay na ako't lahat lahat wala pa rin akong boyfriend. O dahil ayokong makitang masaya sila tapos heto ako rito mamamatay na. But then again, aren't we all dying?
I guess it's because of selfishness and self pity. I just can't help it sometimes. Minsan pa nga nakakasakit na talaga ako but I turn a blind eye to it. Am I that bad?
Bumalik ako sa realidad nang may panyong tumama sa gilid ng mukha ko. Good thing na mabilis ang refelxes ko at nasalo ko ito bago pa mahulog ng tuluyan sa lupa.
I then saw Levi not that far from where I stand. He was giving me a reassuring smile and his face was somehow flushed.
YOU ARE READING
First and Last Fifty
Teen Fiction| Bucket lists | Petty Debates | Everyday at an Ice Cream Parlor | "So bakit ka nga ulit hindi naniniwala sa forever?" The thing about repetition is it gives you tolerance. And Levi, constantly asking this question gave me a high tolerance of it...
