First and Last Fifty

CHAPTER 7 - LOSER

"So anong una mong gustong gawin diyan as listahan mo?" 

I still can't believe it. Natalo niya ako sa contest namin. He planned it from the start and I didn't even see it coming. 

"Oy, Asi. Ano na?"

"Honestly? Gusto kong sunugin 'tong listahan na ito."

"Ang harsh mo naman. You lost, fair and square. Be a good sport will you?"

Hindi ko siya sinagot. I'll let him do all the talking from now on. I can't open up to him again. 

"Okay, fine. I'll decide," there was annoyance in his voice, I somehow like him being pissed off. It's like giving him a taste of his of medicine. He scrolled through the mini notebook and his face suddenly lit up when he stopped. " Eto nalang. Face your fears!"

"I don't have any."

"Yes, you do. Everybody has their own fears."

"Then don't treat me like I'm everybody. Iba ako sa kanila." 

"But that doesn't mean you don't have any fears. You do. You just won't admit it. And we both know that."

"If you're so curious about fears, why don't you tell me about your fears. Maybe your fears could interest me and I'll start looking for my own fears."

"Akin? I fear not being good enough."

"Well, that's stupid."

"Hindi kaya. I want to be good enough for everybody. Ayokong may mga tao sa paligid ko na malungkot. That's why I try to make everyone around me happy. I have to be good enough for them to be happy." 

"I seriously don't understand your reason and I don't have any intention to do so. But, I'd like to say you're so stupid for doing that. Why would you burden yourself with everybody's happiness? If I were you, I'd worry about my own happiness, rather than stressing myself trying to keep everyone happy. It would be nice if they reciprocate the efforts you made, but they don't. So, that's just utterly stupid and pointless." 

I expected another retort from him, but instead, he just smiled.

"Wow. Akala ko mahihirapan akong malaman kung anong kinakatakutan mo. Pero inamin mo agad!"

Shit. Did he read through me again? 

Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo diyan Asi? Of course he didn't. Sinasabi niya lang yun para kusa mo nang aminin ang kinakatakutan mo. Don't let him deceive you. 

"Tara sa mall! Let's change your daily routine and hairstyle!" 

Bago pa man ako makapagtanggi hinatak na niya ako palabas ng ice cream parlor. The next thing I know nakarating na kami sa mall at nasa labas ng isang botique.