Allera.

LOSING IT - 3

Waking up In a scrappy 30-level building never made me feel good. Gosh, I am not even in one of the penthouses. I am 3 steps away from the kitchen. I couldn't get myself up from the bed, I look to my left and saw my unpacked baggage and when I look to my right is my amazing 1 seat sofa looking like chewed gum sitting there near the peeling wallpaper. And that distinct smell, what is that? I grovel at myself.

 I finally found the courage to stand up and shower in the corner of the room. My bathroom felt like my dog's house. 

As soon as I finished showering I turn my phone off and saw It was Thursday and I just missed 2 days of school. People have been texting me non-stop on my whereabouts. I rolled my eyes and turned my phone off. 

Walking towards the bathroom mirror, looking at myself just wearing a towel over my body. Doing my skincare and makeup, while I do a daily body check-up on my appearance and what part of my body should I hit in the gym. 

"Ugh.. is that what my arm looks like?", I groan and that's when it hits me. 

I don't have enough money to even continue my gym membership. I have to do home workouts. HOW. CAN. MY. LIFE.GET.ANY.HARDER

Doesn't matter I just had to go through today without losing it. Today I felt poor. A cute ZARA top with thrifted cargo with classic lace vans old skool, I thought to myself, Is this what I have become? 

It's 7 am, and it is an hour before school. No one in school will be here earlier than me. I wore a coat on top, I saw that today will be a little bit chilly and I do think this GUCCI coat will cover my hideous clothing today.

I saw the school just immediately after I walk out of the building, it was rusty and dark. I had a feeling the instructor was going for an old princess castle but end up looking like Hogwarts. 

Nonetheless, I walked into school and sat on the bench they have near the outdoor class. I felt a surreal feeling for a second, being alone, the surrounding was so quiet there was only bird sound and the wind. 

I found myself so bored already, then decided to open my makeup pouch for a touch-up. Then I started hearing people's noises, I saw some of them even glancing at me. I realized the news on the end of my relationship that I had already estimated had spread around the school on time, I assume. 

Or that blabbered mouth son of a bitch told everybody about my brokeness. I felt blood coming up my head, my breathing started to speed up. I pack up my pouch and went to my first class.

===

I heard the bell ring and that send me into shock, just a while ago I was sent into a 2-hour strike on Instagram because of how boring this class is. I still remember this morning, how I think Luca is the one who spilled everything to everyone. 

None of my friends have yet to come up to me, then I would never have ever come up to them first but now, yeah still no. I would never. I walked out of class and only have one thing on my mind. Murder Luca.

I searched the cafeteria, the boy's locker room, and the old hallway where we used to smoke weed, and I didn't see him at all. Wondering where he could have been. 

While I was busy looking everywhere, I saw my girls eyeing me. Like the kind of look where you know they are talking about you. I strut my way toward them. I notice that they are sitting on the stairs which no one ever uses.

"What?", I ask in a cold tone.

Let me describe my girlfriends one by one, shall we? All right.