Not So One Night Stand ✔

Peace? Relief?

I stayed in my room for the next couple of days, trying to take all the new-found information in. I desperately want to forget the truth so badly, but Mew's expression when he was explaining things to me, saying that he was honestly being honest, that what he was saying was the actual truth and he wasn't playing around. Then again, it was just too much. Too shocking and... odd.

Who the fuck knew that the myth was actually real?

Like I mean, I know angels and demons existed since that was what the bible said and my mum- I mean Mae, used to read that to me, but to think that they're actually as real as humans, like breathing, walking, drinking and eating, and everything, was just too much. Never once in my life, I've ever thought that I'll meet one, moreover a bunch of them. But I guess there are still plenty of secrets that I didn't even know this world held.

There are two things that I can't believe the most.

First, the angels that humans always pictured as the perfect role, all holy and kind and blessed, weren't actually that... graced. Who the fuck would guess that they would kill just for the sake of their so-called holy 'image'? Clearly not me, but I guess I was wrong, again.

And second, my parents. My whole life, I thought they were my actual parents. I love them just like how a child supposes to love their parents, I obeyed their words, I believe what they believe, I did what they tell me to do, and I respect them. Even after they kicked me out that day, I still respect them. I don't know if I should blame them or not for not telling me that I wasn't their blood. But then again, if they did tell me, what are they gonna say? That I'm just an orphan that someone left at their doorstep with a note taped to my forehead? No, that sounds so weird.

Even I wouldn't even believe that, because, after all, they did treat me like I was their blood. They treated me like they treated Goob and Nattarin like the three of us were actually siblings. Or was it just their act? I mean, they did flip shit when I came out, and right then I knew what kind of people they truly are, but then again, I guess me coming out was a true shock for them and I can't really blame them for that. Or, can I?

Nevertheless, they are still somewhat guilty for hiding the truth. I didn't even know if I have a birth certificate or not, for fuck sake!

I groaned again, my brain feels like it was fuming. I haven't got any proper sleep these past few days. My brain keeps working relentlessly, trying to take everything in and make it somehow understandable. And sadly, no matter how relentlessly it works, I still can barely understand things.

The only thing that I can manage to accept now is the fact that I'm not a human but a half-angel and half-demon. That my so-called parents weren't my actual parents, because my actual dad is a demon's king and my actual mum was an angel that is now dead.

Think about it this way, if someday I have a kid, and they asked me about their grandparent, what am I gonna say? "Hey, kid, I don't think you'll meet them anytime soon unless you're dead first, maybe we can visit them in hell"

The fuck? They would either think I'm crazy or they would laugh their ass off.

But the thing about me being supposed to be dead because apparently, I'm a 'disgraced' just doesn't settle well with me. Why should I be dead? I got it that unfortunately, my existence was a shame to them, but I didn't even bother them, why should I still be dead?

Like, what will they get if I'm dead?
Peace? I didn't even create a war.
Relief? I don't think my death would bring relief.
Their 'holy' title? I didn't even sin under their name.

And then what? I just don't get it, dammit! I mean, Mew did explain to me why I should be dead, but that just doesn't make sense.

Mew.
Talking about him, I just realised that I haven't said a thing to him these past few days. I was too deep in my thought to think about something else.

I feel somewhat guilty for kicking him out three nights ago, but I know that I'll say shit that I regret if he stayed in my place any longer. Frankly, I'm not even mad at him. I completely understood his reason as to why he wouldn't tell me at first and hold these all to himself. I know that he was scared about me flipping shit and freaking out just like now. He knew this all would come, he expected that.

In fact, I'm kind of glad that he chooses to prolong the time, waiting for the right moment before he spills the truth. I didn't feel slightly betrayed by him. No, I still trust him with everything I have, because after all, he was the one that saved me that night, he was also the one that watches my back 24/7. I can tell that even though we were apart now he was still watching me with those amazing deep brown eyes of his. I knew I'm safe, hence why I'm taking my time to process this all. I bet he would be here any second if I give him a call now. But the real question is, am I ready?

Am I ready to find out the whole truth? Am I ready to take it all and process everything? But most of all: am I ready to accept the truth?

Fuck it, I'm sending him a text.

To: M
Be at my place ASAP xx

From: M
Omw xxx

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Gulf thinking too deep and groaning every two seconds is like me 24/7 🙃
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