Life with Loki - short stories

My Brother, My Sun

Note:
Hi again!
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Much love & happy readings,
L xxx

Summary: Despite you letting yourself drown quietly in your sea of grief, there is someone special near you, that helps you out of those dark waters.
Tags/Warnings: Protective Loki / Depression /Mourning / Grief / Suicidal Thoughts / Sad with a Happy Ending / Frigga Knows All
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Hollow, was the best way to describe how you felt now. Pointless the air had become, meaningless were words. Guilt would play its way through you when you remembered to weigh it up — what was one life compared to 3.5 billion? How selfish could one be to even consider that that one life was more important than half of earths population.

All of these emotions were playing through you, and it was far too much. The stages of grief had started to play out. You had the indescribable sadness as soon as you had seen his body. You sat with him for so long, wrapping your head around the fact that this was the last and final time that you would ever see him, then he would be gone, forever. They gave you and your brother time and space together, but there did come a point where you had to be carried away. You yourself were injured, and Bruce needed to take a look at you. Both Thor and Steve tried guiding you from him, but they couldn't. The panic set in, the panic of the finale, of never seeing your brother again. They relented, giving up trying to move you, and then you remembered Loki before you. That voice of his, was just soothing enough to let him be the one to guide you away.

The sadness was overwhelming until just after the memorial service. They thought that perhaps the service would of helped —in that backwards, roundabout way that that type of closure can bring— but it didn't. You hardly left your bed, hardly ate, until one day Clint saw you in snooping around the lounge room, looking as if you had lost something (because you had). Your searching continued down the corridor, throughout its storage cupboards, and into the kitchen. Sam and Steve joined the archer, observing you in your relatively cheery disposition. When they asked you what you were up to, if you were ok, they were not expecting for you to laugh and tell them that they could give up the joke now, and to tell you were he was.

"Where who is, Miss Stark?", Steve asked you softly, as another laugh fell from your lips.

"Tony. I know he's hiding somewhere". The three Avengers looked between each other worrisomely. They had thought that you had found the start of peace, but it appeared you had only found safety in delusion. That lead to you stating that Tony must be pranking you, which then sparked your mind into thinking that Loki was helping him.

The God opened his door to see you smiling, which was a relief to him, his heart pounded with a sense of joy when seeing you in such a state. It was if the realms were balancing, as if a war was finally ending, but then all of his hope was soon squashed. "Where is he?", you had asked him with a knowing smile. Loki, as well was confused as the others had been at first. You made your way past him into his room and began looking around, sure to find your hidden brother. When you didn't find him, you were certain that Loki was hiding him with magic. He had spoken your name in a puzzled tone, calling your attention to him amid your search, asking you who you meant. "Tony". You laughed again. His face fell. The war wasn't over for you.

The team gathered and discussed your wellbeing as you continued your search for your sly brother. "I remember the first time I lost my brother, sure that he had passed. I felt all the sadness and anger, but there were times in the midst that I was convinced that he was still alive and tricking me. His apparent death that time was no trick, and despite Loki being the God of Tricks himself, it makes sense that Lady Stark is also believing this radical idea. For both her and Tony were fond of playing tricks upon each other". Thor spoke reasoning to the group, as Bruce added that this is a common stage of grief, and that all they could do was support you. They did support you the best they could, especially after a week of looking for Tony, after staying awake for days on end, waiting for him to jump out and scare you. Despite some of the others encouraging you to sleep, the combination of sleep deprivation, grief, and realisation, all finally hit. You broke down while making toast one morning, hyperventilating, trying to grasp onto what breath you could. "He's dead isn't he? He's really dead". Steve was there to grab you as you began to fall, forgetting his own breakfast instantly. But you soon pulled away from him, and ignored everyone else you passed on your way to Tony's lab. You were in your own world, without your brother, the last Stark, and it felt sickening. But it was just how it was now.