28th March 2023
Hey so I'm an overthinker right ?
And for some reasons I can remeber things ttat happened a while ago that "traumatized" me
For example; I remember when I was 12 my teacher asked people to say where South Korea was, and my friends turned to me and they were all like: "Yeah she listens to kpop she must know"
So my teacher told me to show where was South Korea
I messed it up and I showed Japan and in my mind everyone was laughing at me (could be true tho)
So yeah I have this ability to remember "bad" things
And a few minutes ago I remembered how my mom was judging the fact that I was breathing loudly (happened a few months ago lmao) and I still remember that when I breathe so I have to breathe slowly and quietly
But when I do that I panic and qo I will be writing a few things that my mind is telling me when I do that:
No no ! You have to breathe deeply
If you breathe slowly you will not get as much oxygen as you need and if it happens you will run out of oxygen but when you run out of oxygen you die and your parents would be disapointed if you died before them and you don't want them to be disapointed but will they really care if I died ? I don't know but I think some people would not care, well a lot of people
And I could keep going on and on and on
I know my mom will not read this (she sucks at English) but I am so sorry if my breathing is disturbing you but I don't want my mind to do this everyday at every minute
