Overlooked-Tommyinnit

Part 4

Tw: fainting, self hatred, hospital, self-harm, body image, scars

I gathered my stuff and walked out of my bedroom, everything is spinning, i was really dizzy. I was lacking sleep but high on caffeine, i already downed 3 coffee's. I started to feel a sort of hatred going towards studying, but this is what I needed to be loved.

the "gifted kid" is finally giving up.

Im gonna be the stupid kid who dropped out of high school and did nothing for the rest of his life.

The failure.

Everything is spinning, my head was pounding.
I could barely managed to continue to move my legs forward. I haven't felt like this before, it's an unfamiliar feeling, but I don't like it. It's making every step heavier and heavier. 

-time skip arrival into the school-

Soon i found myself in front of my school, I walked in searching for my class. The dizziness didn't go away, it got worse actually. I developed a more severe headache. I found the classroom and sat down at my spot which was at the back of the classroom. I was glad to be sitting. Hoping it'll stop my dizziness.

It was about 10 minutes into the class when I heard my name get called.
"Thomas! You're up. I'm gonna ask you questions and you have to reply. It's for grades" my teacher said.

I started coming up to the front, when everything became really dizzy and soon all I could see was black spots. I took a step forward then everything went black.

"Thomas?!"

-time skip-

I heard loud beeping around me, then someone called my name

"Tommy?" the voice said, I was still unsure about my surroundings, I started sitting up and looking around.

I was in the hospital.
Why am I in the hospital?
When did I get here?

"Where am I?" I asked, looking up seeing my Dad and a nurse hovering over me
"you're in hospital, you fainted in class" said my Dad, giving me looks of disappointment.
"What?! So I got an F on my QnA?" I asked in a panic.

This can't effect my grades can it?
Why?
Why is my body so weak?
Why can't my body handle this?
My brothers never fainted, yet another thing I need to be better at.
I'm a failure.
failure.
FAILURE.

"You didn't, the teacher didn't care as long as you're okay" my Dad said, I calmed down a little after hearing it.

It didn't effect my grade.
I'm not that much of a failure anymore
I'm mostly embarrassed now.
Who faints in front of EVERYONE?
Me.
Of  course
Can life give me a break once?
I'm hoping my Dad haven't seen the scars yet.

"Kid, you're good to go home, rest." The nurse said, while walking out of the hospital room.

"How did you faint?" my Dad asked curiosity in his tone.
"I don't know, lack of sleep maybe?" I replied, in a questioning tone.
"When was the last you slept?" Dad asked facing me.
"Uh 4 days ago?" I replied, unsure about how long has it been. The days started to melt together.
"Good job kid, don't faint next time and remember to study tonight" my Dad said.
"Yeah..I'll.." I replied.

He told me I did a Good job!
I'm finally starting to satisfy him.
I'm gonna be like my brothers.
If I don't drop out before I could.
I don't wanna admit it, but I'm drained.
Im so drained.
I don't know what to do anymore.
My body feels so tired and every possible way it can feel tired.
I was exhausted mentally.
I barely have any motivation left to study.

I started to collect my stuff, walking into the hospital room bathroom. I looked into the mirror and realized how bad I look.
There were bags under my eyes.
I was visibly skinnier
Scars spreading all over my arms.

I might be destroying myself but at least Dad is proud right?

________________________________

A/N:

Hello guys.
Thank you so much for all the reads + votes it means a lot.

Sorry for the shorter chapter, but longer chapters are coming soon I promise<3

New chapter is getting released in 2-3 days.

-Ghostly❤️‍🩹