Overlooked-Tommyinnit

Part 20

TW: Heavy Angst, Suicide, major character death, self harm, pills, swearing.
Stay safe readers.<3

Tommy POV

It was late at night, Phil and Techno wasn't home, Wilbur was the only one.

My thoughts have been racing, and I couldn't make them stop, I was sobbing uncontrollably,

"you're so worthless."
"You're pathetic."
"You're a Disappointment."
"Losing weight wouldn't hurt."
"You're a failure Tommy"
"you'd be better off dead"
"I'm tired of raising a son like you."

All the things he said, it was running through my head a thousand miles per hour. I can't do this anymore, I can't take it. I can't take all the trauma, all the pain I learned when I was too young.

i was twelve when i first wanted to die, i was twelve when i first wished for the sweetness, of oblivion,
for the kiss of the grim reaper,
i was twelve when my world tipped over on itself,
i was twelve when i first felt the cold embrace, the cold embrace of destroying myself.

I had my notes for so long, I had my notes ready for over a month, when I knew I couldn't bare this any longer.

I walked into the bathroom, I was desperately searching for a reason to stay, a reason to stay another day, a reason to not do it.

I looked for that momentarily relief self-harm gave, I dragged the blade across my skin, the red crimson liquid flooded out of my arm,

Yet I felt nothing, it didn't solve the screaming in my brain, this is my breakpoint.

I didn't even bother to bandage my wounds.
I threw on a hoodie, and I  searched around my room for my letters, my vision was blurred by my tears.

I looked at my phone to see the time, it was 2:37am Wilbur is asleep, he won't know it. I grabbed the notes and went into Technos bedroom and to his bathroom, where he kept his medication. I wasn't sure what was it for, but I couldn't care, I grabbed the pill bottle and showed into my pocket.

I quieted my sobs as I walked through the hallways, I didn't want to alert Wilbur. I went into the kitchen; and placed my notes down at the table, Phil and Techno will find it first, when they arrive home in the morning.

I quickly slipped out of the house, I started running, I wasn't sure where I was running to, my body was on autopilot.

I reached a bridge, I walked to the fence, I looked over it, i started shaking. I climbed onto the railing, soon I was sitting on it, looking down at the water.

I grabbed the pill bottle out of my pockets and downed it all with no hesitation.

I grabbed my phone; looked down at it, Wilbur is calling me, I pressed the accept button.

"Tommy?!" Wilbur asked, I could hear the worry in his tone.
"I'm sorry." That's all I could say, sobbing loudly, I couldn't care anymore.
"Tommy! This can't be happening, please. I cant lose you," Wilbur begged his voice began to crack.
"I'm sorry Will, I'm so tired." I replied.
"Tommy, I promise things will get better. Come home please Toms." Wilbur begged, he was sobbing.
"please..share your location..don't do this." Wilbur begged continuously, I was just sobbing, listening to my brothers begging, begging for me to stay.

"I love you, I'm sorry." I said sobbing even more, I hung up the phone, I went into Wilbur's contact and shared my location with him. I wasn't sure why, I just did.

I then close my phone, and put it in my pocket.
I take my last breath, and I start to fall into the water.

The ice cold water all over me.

I was so cold, yet so happy.

I close my eyes, at that moment,
A rush of pain washed over me, as the water filled my lungs, but

I was finally free
and
All of the pain was finally gone.