Python

C H A P T E R 59

"I became a person I never, ever thought I'd become." He continued. "I learnt to stop caring about anyone's feelings, except mine. My determination for revenge made it easy... I had the resources, I had the money, I had the connections, I had the flash drive.

"I built an empire for sorely one reason, to destroy yours.. if your gang was so important to you, I vowed to destroy and ruin it. Jake tried to warn me about the crime, he tried to warn me about the girls.. but I was in too deep. I lived a life I never thought I'd live, being a ruthless leader of a crime organisation, kill and totoure without regret, fuck random girls everyday.

"Blue I never slept with Jessica. The last time her and I had sex was before I met you five years ago. I knew she had feelings for me, that's why no matter how many random girls I fucked on a daily, she wasn't an option. I knew fucking her would complicate things, she wanted more and I couldn't give her that. Jessica is suicidal and I'm the only person that could calm her down. Charlotte often said she's just pulling stunts to get closer to me, but I didn't believe her. She was my childhood friend and I saw her as that.. we were always there for each other so I couldn't imagine hurting her." He chuckled, shaking his head. "But now I'm gonna kill her."

"I wanna be there." I said and he smiled, like an actual smile.

I can't believe Kenny went through all of that, just because of me. I'm such an awful person. Depression ? Alcohol addiction ? Suicide attempts ? He's been through so much and it's all my fault, he's suffered so much, and that's all because of me.
I never once ever doubted the love Kenny had for me, he never gave me a reason to. I knew he deeply felt for me... But to this extent ? I was literally his world and I betrayed him.

"Well.. if it makes you feel any better, depression also hit me like a bitch." I chuckled and he glared at me.

I guess it doesn't make him feel any better..

"I was medically diagnosed.. I think four months into my pregnancy ?" I huffed as I tried to remember the exact time. "Yeah, sometime there."

Kenny looked at me with a curious and shocked expression.

"I was alone Kenny." I started. "Alone and pregnant in an island I don't know anything about. I couldn't even get into contact with any of my family members, or I'd risk both mine and my baby's life in danger... I have a lot of enemies, and what better way to strike when I'm pregnant and unable to fight for myself ? That's why I went back to the islands.

"I hated myself more than anything for betraying you like that. I would wake up everyday with you being the first thing on my mind.. regrets after regrets, wishing things had turned out different. You were the only thing I could think about, how you were doing, how you were feeling, you know.. how you were coping with everything ?

"But then I always remembered the image of Jessica in your apartment and.. and I assumed you were fine. I thought you were doing a good job moving on. I hated the thought of you and her together, the thought hurt me, it broke me. But at the same time, I felt relived because you were happy. After all I put you through, you ended up finding happiness. Your happiness was the most important thing for me, even if it meant I wasn't apart of it. Even if it meant with her.

"Kenny you can give me a gun and I'll excel at using it, send me to hijack a car and I'll do it just like that, give me any mission and I'll complete it flawlessly. I'd always pride myself in my capabilities, I've always been the best in anything I do. But for once in my life, I was scared to do something. I was terrified Kenny, I didn't think I was capable enough to raise a child. I didn't know how to be a parent. Where was I even going to begin ? The worst part was, I didn't have any help. None, it was just me, alone."