Destined | Christopher Pike

Chapter Fifty

The two days it took to get back to Earth felt like months. Emma stayed locked up in her room for most of those days. If she left people would start looking at her like she was broken and she didn't want that. Yes, she was broken, but the looks didn't help. She spent most of the time packing Chris and her things up. It was an agonizing process. Every picture, every book, every clothing item that belonged to Chris only made her cry more. Everything smelt like him. She knew one day the smell with dissipate so she tried to enjoy it the most she could.

She didn't sleep much. It was hard sleeping alone after sleeping next to the same person for six years. She found herself constantly reaching out next to her expecting Chris to be there, but he wasn't. He was inside some damn box in the medical bay. She kept expecting to wake up from the horrible nightmare she was living and Chris would be there making her breakfast. He would walk over to the bed and give her a soft kiss before making some horrible joke to her. It was real. It was all real.

Emma wasn't sure what to expect when they docked at the Stargate and took a transport down to Earth. She figured her parents would be there to meet her. They had already been notified about what happened when Jim contacted Starfleet's headquarters. She would have a funeral to plan. She had never planned one before. She had attended them many times, but it was different. She knew Chris had wanted a public ceremony for Starfleet, but his final wishes were to be buried next to his parents at home.

They took Chris' body down in a separate shuttle. They had asked Emma if she wanted to ride in it while she did, but she couldn't find the strength to say 'yes.' She didn't know why. She supposed it made the realization that he was dead sink in further. She took a look around the room she shared with Chris for six years. It was completely bare now aside from the mattress, chairs and couch. Every last memory of their life together had been wiped away. The room would belong to Captain James Tiberius Kirk now.

She didn't know when she would return to the Enterprise or if she would ever return to Starfleet. That was the last thing on her list. She didn't know if she could take walking through the same hallways she did with Chris day after day again. She didn't know when she would come to the decision as to what she would do, but she had time. She would be granted a month long leave to think about it. Surprisingly, she was the last one off the ship.

When the hanger came into view, her heart stopped. All of the crew of the Enterprise had lined up to one side of the room. Standing at the end of the aisle were several Admirals as well. What really caught her attention was Chris' casket. It was covered in a Starfleet and Federation flag. She knew it was customary, but to know her husband was in there made it even worse. When the doors of the shuttle opened, every person looked at her.

To her left was Chris' casket on a moving table. To her right was the Enterprise crew. In front of her was a different shuttle that would take his body to Starfleet headquarters. It felt strange have so many people staring at you when you were going through one of the hardest moments of your life. She wondered if this is what Chris would have wanted. She knew people were just paying their respects as she walked towards the next shuttle.

She kept her eyes forward. She knew if she looked at the casket she would breakdown in front of everyone. That was something she didn't want to deal with. Her eyes wavered when she saw two familiar faces; her parents. She had not been expecting to see them there. Her relationship with her mom was still complicated. Emma supposed they were just trying to be support of their daughter. Her mom was first to hug her.

"Oh, Emma." She whispered. "I'm so sorry."

All Emma did was nod. She wasn't sure if her mom was actually sorry or if she was just putting on a show for the whole room. The look on her father's face seemed more genuine. He pulled her in for a tighter hug and Emma buried her face into his shoulder like she did when she was a child.