When Mrs. Infamous Chose The Masochist...(BOOK 5)

Chapter 6

One late night after we shared an intimate moment, Remington and I laid close to each other as we snuggled under the covers in our bed and stared up at the ceiling. My eyes moved to look at him and just take in how utterly beautiful he is when he's not even trying and when he's this vulnerable. I feel so lucky to have him in my life and I could not wait for when we were finally about to live the rest of our lives like this. Then a random thought came across my mind as I wondered if Rem ever felt like this with someone else from his past. Unable to quiet the question in my head, I traced my finger over the lines of the tattoos on his chest as I asked him, "Remington, I know it's me you want to spend the rest of your life with. But had you ever felt even a tiny fraction of that with another woman in your life?" He seemed surprised when I asked him that as he turned his head to face me and wonder where my question came from. He seemed apprehensive as he looked away from my eyes, "Are you sure you want to know about other women I dated before you, Carina? I don't want you to feel jealous about people I don't think about anymore." I placed my hand on his cheek as I promised him, "I won't get jealous. I just want to know if you ever felt anything as special as you do with me."

I could tell he'd rather not tell me about his ex-girlfriends, but seeing how desperate I was for him to be honest and share a part of his past, he nodded and agreed to tell me. Before he started explaining, he sat up against the headboard of the bed and motioned for me to sit next to him as I rested my head on his shoulder, my hand still on his chest while he had an arm wrapped around my back. "I'm not including Jennifer or Cordelia in my history", he prefaced, "Because I don't think they ever cared about me and I couldn't love them even if I wanted to. But before them and you, I knew three women who weren't exactly permanent in my life, yet I had hoped it would grow to be something special." He took a deep breath before starting once more, "When I was eighteen, I met a girl who was the same age and asked me to do something so outrageous even though we barely knew each other." I asked him, "What was it?" He laughed to himself as he answered, "She wanted me to take her virginity." I was almost horrified before he explained their reasoning, "When I asked why, she told me her parents had arranged her to marry some stranger after she graduated high school and she basically used me as an act of defiance. I only agreed to do it because she was nice to me and I felt bad for her. It was my first time too, and before you ask: yes, we both used protection so she did not get pregnant. After high school, I never saw her again and only hoped she'd be happy whether it involved her husband or not."

The first story didn't seem too bad, I honestly was expecting a one-night stand, but I should know already Remington was not a shallow person. And the poor girl, she was lucky to have a nice guy she knew be her first instead of a stranger who'd probably take advantage of her. Remington continued his story, "The second girl I knew was someone I met two years after high school when I was twenty and was a little older than me by a year or so. We didn't exactly have a normal relationship since it was purely all physical attraction. But I have to give her credit because as someone who had much more experience than me at the time, she taught me how to properly please a woman. It lasted only about a month before she declared she didn't want to see me anymore and knew I deserved someone who'd want something real, like you." I smiled when he said that, and was shocked that a woman was the one who taught him to be so good at bringing me pleasure when I've never had anyone before him and will never want anyone after him. I'm grateful she gracefully let him go knowing Remington needed a girl who would want an actual relationship with him and want him for more than sex. I wondered if she was happy now.

"And the third girl?", I asked after Rem remained quiet for a while. He turned away from me and scratched his head nervously, "It's a little more complicated because we never dated or anything close to that. It was more like...she was my first love, but she'll never know that or probably want to." I'm not gonna lie, when he said "first love", a small sense of insecurity panged in my chest and I had to remind myself that not even my first love, Justin, turned out to be the right one. I encouraged him to go ahead and tell me about her, to which he obliged as he held me a bit tighter, "Her name was Mae Amberleigh, and she was the most talented singer in our high school when me and my brothers went there. I admired her singing skills and as someone who wanted to be a rock singer, I asked her to give me lessons so I could enter a talent show with my band. She only agreed if I hooked her up with Sebastian because she had a huge crush on him. I'm not proud to admit this, but I lied and agreed so she'd give me the lessons. Every day we practiced, I got better but I ended up developing feelings for her."

Rem began to look pained when getting to the end of his story and it made me curious as to what could've happened between them. A guilty expression on his face, Remington continued the story, "When the talent show was close, I managed to get Seb to meet Mae and give her a chance, but he canceled last-minute to take care of this other girl he was crushing on. When Mae found out, she got so pissed at me and Emerson for lying that she declared her hatred for me and never spoke to me again. Even though I felt bad for what I did, I was going to apologize after me and my brothers won the talent show, but she had left town shortly after losing to us and nobody saw her again. I have no idea where she's been or if she's still upset with me, but I decided to let it go because I realized that it was never meant to be if I might never see her again. I only hope she's doing okay and has managed to find peace, wherever she is." The way he spoke about his first love, Mae, made me wonder if things might have been different had she not have disappeared from their hometown.

I looked down at our hands joined in his lap and asked, "Do you ever wish to see her again? Even if she still might hate you?" He turned his head to my direction and placed a hand on the side of my face to lift it up so my eyes meet his as he told me in a firm tone, "Ma chérie, don't you ever think for a second that just because I used to have feelings for her that I still have them now! You are the one for me and the woman I wish to spend eternity with because you have made me so happy and give me a reason to live and pursue my dreams when no one else believed in them. Even if I saw her again, I'll never feel for her the way I do for you. I love you and want to be by your side from now on until I'm dead in the ground. Okay?" How he knew exactly what I needed to hear? I'll never know, but that doesn't mean I won't be grateful for that. I smiled up at him and nodded as I replied in a loving tone, "Okay, Rem. I won't let my insecurities get the best of me. I know you're devoted to me, just as I am to you and I'll never leave you, no matter what." He grinned so beautifully before leaning in to kiss my lips so sweetly and hold me close before we would be making out like this for a while before we finally went to sleep in each other's arms.