[A/n Trigger warning talks about muteness from trauma]
I still have days where I stop talking the whole day, but they have become rare. Those days I will just lock myself in my room, waiting for it to pass if I am home if I am out or am going out with people I care about I force myself to speak but it hurts me when I do that. But sometimes when I am triggered I will go mute for a couple hours or the rest of the day, but I will force myself to speak so I don't freak out Akira and anyone else anymore since she and nobody else need to see me like that again.
When those days come I force myself to talk if I am around Akira or anyone that I care about. It hurts to force myself to speak but I will go through the pain just to not worry Akira or my family any more than I already do. I think she notices but I am not sure I just don't want to worry her as much as I can because she has gone through enough shit as it is.
So I just hope that I never have to tell her and Keigo all the shit that happened but I have a feeling that I will have too. I hate myself for lying to Akira wait technically I didn't lie completely I just down played the shit out of it to make her not as worried.
Even though I am no longer in the Mermai Pod I still check on them but no one outside of Akira & Mariah & Cindy & Keith & my mom know about the pod. I made sure to keep it a secret.
I have also learnt from a friend from the Mermaid pod how to mershift but instead it has helped me control my tail shifting when I am at C.H.A.P.S. But at home I don't really use those skills I do what I normally would do before I learnt about mer shifting. I have all the community service hours I need for college.I can chose to shift in the shower if I am taking a bath but not a when I am in the shower.
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