Losing You [A Benson and Bensler Fanfiction]

Twelve

Olivia sat in a hospital bay, her hands still stained with Elliot's blood. Fin stood outside of the curtain as he waited for reinforcements to show up. He didn't know what to do or what to say, especially since Olivia's relationship with Elliot was different from anything he had experienced with his own former partners.

"Fin? What's happening?" Alex asked, as she and Casey quickly walked to where he stood in the ER. Amanda and John had been dispatched to the scene of Elliot's murder, so Amanda couldn't come to help Olivia through the shock of losing Elliot.

"Elliot was killed tonight out on the docks," Fin spoke quietly. Casey felt tears burn her eyes as Alex's hand quickly found her.

"Olivia is behind the curtain, huh? Was she hurt too?" Alex whispered.

"No, Olivia is fine. Unharmed is more like it... But she's in shock. She found his body," Fin replied. He opened the curtain and let Alex and Casey in, before walking to grab the evidence bag to run down to the ME's office. He felt confident that Olivia was in excellent hands now, so he could go investigate Elliot's murder.

Casey and Alex looked at their friend for several long moments without her even realizing they were there. Alex took the first step forward and gently caressed her messy brown.

"My boyfriend is dead," Olivia whispered, as she turned to look at her friends. Her eyes looked so empty, almost lifeless. 

"Sweetie-"

"I'm never going to be able to move on," Olivia spoke, before turning back to facing the end of the bed. She had found a stray thread on the scrubs a nurse had given her, and that was the only thing she was focusing on at the moment.

Casey walked around to the other side of the bed, before wrapping an arm around Olivia's shoulders and pulled her close. She kissed her hair gently, as Olivia broke down into heart-wrenching sobs.

"Oh, Livvie," Alex whispered.

///

Cragen and John walked up the path to the front of the Stabler house. A few lights were on downstairs, so Cragen was certain that they were going to be breaking the news of Elliot's death to almost the entire family. Kids and all.

"Hello?" Kathy asked as she opened the front door. Her eyes went wide when she saw Cragen and John. When Elliot left SVU, she didn't want him having contact with anyone from the squad. If he spent time with them, he'd be spending time with Olivia. Yet here they were, and she could feel how wrong this was.

"Hey, Kathy. Can we talk real quick?" Cragen mused, as he played with the handkerchief in his pocket. 

"W-what's happening?" Kathy whispered as she stepped onto the front porch and faced the older men.

"We got a call this morning from Captain Lawson. Elliot was killed last night on the docks," Cragen breathed. Kathy stared at them in confusion for several long moments before realizing that this was real.

"E-elliot's dead?" 

"He was shot several times, and he was dead when they arrived," John spoke, a frown settled on his lips.

Kathy's body started to shake as she reached for anything to support her body. Cragen wrapped an arm around her body as she sobbed. 

The door opened slowly, and John spotted Kathleen standing there. 

"What's wrong? Why is my Mom crying?" Kathleen questioned, her voice shaking. Kathy turned to face her daughter and swallowed hard.

"Baby, Daddy got killed last night."

///

For a week, Olivia walked around in a complete fog. Alex and Casey took turns staying at Olivia's apartment, and holding her while she was sobbed for the man she knew was her soulmate. The man that she had made and lost a baby with. Olivia had to grieve quietly while Kathy got to go all out. She was on TV doing interviews in hopes of someone having information about Elliot's murder. 

When Melinda did Elliot's autopsy, she found Olivia's DNA on his body. It was a hard thing to discuss with the crew, since everyone found out that Olivia had been with Elliot the morning of his death. 

"You shouldn't be here," Cragen frowned when Olivia walked into the squadroom. She didn't want to be there, but she needed to help find Elliot's killer. 

"He's my best friend, Captain. I need-"

"Olivia, Melinda found your saliva on his chest and shoulders," Cragen whispered. Olivia turned to look at him with wide eyes. She wasn't there when her DNA was found, so she didn't know that everyone knew.

"W-what?"

"Olivia, you were dating him. Weren't you?"

"I-i-"

"That baby you lost was his. Right?" Cragen asked. Olivia bit down hard on her lip until it drew blood.

"I-i'm sorry, Captain," she whimpered.

"Liv, you are too involved to be a part of this case. Elliot wasn't just your partner for years, he was your boyfriend and the father of your child. One of us will give you an update at the end of each week, but you are officially on leave until we find the killer. Okay?"

Olivia nodded weakly as she rubbed tears from her pale cheeks. 

"Am I suspended?"

"No, you aren't. We are keeping your DNA away from the public and our bosses. They don't need to know until absolutely necessary."

"Alex dropped me off. Can I hang out until I can get a ride?" Olivia sniffled.

"Yeah, that's fine. Call one of the girls to come get you."

Olivia called Casey, and she was going to come and get Olivia after she had a hearing. Olivia sat at her desk and looked over the large board that had all the information about Elliot's case, minus Olivia's DNA. The crime scene photos pushed Olivia over the edge, so she stumbled from the room and into the hallway. 

Olivia sank down onto a bench and started to cry, as she buried her face in her shaking hands.

"You are so dramatic," a voice huffed. Olivia lifted her head slowly and frowned when she saw Kathy standing there. She was dressed in all black, as she mourned the man that didn't even want to be with her at the end. 

"Leave me alone," Olivia grumbled.

"He was my husband, Olivia. Mine. He was nothing to you, so stop acting-"

"There is so much about your husband that you don't know, Kathy. He told me, but he'd never tell you because in the end, he wasn't in love with you anymore. Especially since you are a controlling bitch," Olivia spat.