Diary of a Fat Girl

12.

Dear diary

I realised something last night. The only reason why people don't like me is because I'm fat and ugly. And if I could change those things, instead of killing myself, maybe then people will like me. It's worth a shot.

So this morning Mom dropped me off at the mall to get the things I needed. Firstly, I went to Clicks to get make up supplies since I don't own any and I know for sure that my mom won't lend hers to me. The makeup would surely help with my 'ugly' problem.

Next I went to the pharmacy to buy weight loss pills and protein shake powders. Hopefully, it will help me lose weight fast.

As I was walking past the stores, I stopped in front of Marcels. Oh how I craved ice cream. I hate feeling so weak when it comes to food but I had to give in. I had no other choice. I ordered a large chocolate ice cream with speckled eggs and chocolate sauce.

I immediately regretted it as soon as I ate the last scoop, so I grabbed my bags and went to the bathroom. It seemed empty as I walked in and went into a vacant stall. I locked the door behind me and hunched over the toilet as I shoved my finger to the back of my throat and spewed out everything that I had consumed for the day, and probably the night before. The warm bile burned my throat and my eyes stung with tears.

When everything had come up, I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and exited the stall. I walked up to one of the sinks and rinsed my mouth to get rid of the taste.

That day, I walked out of the mall with an empty stomach and no regret.

-Anna