Diary of a Fat Girl

14.

Dear diary

I hate my parents. With a deadly passion. Sure they provide for me and pay for my things but they're hardly ever there.

Dad's the top businessman in the town and Mom owns her own boutique in the city, so they're always too busy. And the fact that I have no siblings makes me feel even lonelier.

It wasn't always like this. Not too long ago they actually spent time with me. That was until Dad invested in a huge deal. Turns out it was a huge ponzi scheme and he lost all of his money. Now they work extra hours in order to make up for the lost money.

I truly do understand the situation but I don't get why I have to suffer because of that one accident. They made the deal, they lost the money but I feel as if I lost so much more than they did.

After the ponzi incident I started to replace the empty feeling with food. It was the one thing that was always there for me. It didn't judge me, it didn't leave me, it made me feel better. But I went overboard. I probably ate more than my weight in every sitting and became a couch potato. I gained so much weight, it was almost scary to see my body change so quickly so I tried to push those feelings away by eating more.

I went through a major stage of depression. I had friends before, surprisingly, but they all left when times got hard. Some friends they were. That just increased my depression and my food intake. It was crazy.

After about a year, I finally started to calm down. I tried to repair my lost friendships but they wanted nothing to do with me so I remained a loner. I ate a bit less but still enough to make me gain a substantial amount of weight overtime. I had no one to impress anyway.

I tried to stop but once it becomes a habit you're hooked. Food is my drug.

-Anna