Diary of a Fat Girl

17.

Dear diary

After 2 weeks I finally recovered from the flu. And when I went to weigh myself, I was amazed. In two weeks I lost 12kgs all because I only had liquids. It made me feel giddy inside and I didn't want the feeling to go away. I love the feeling of actually losing weight.

So I stopped eating solids. I drank lots of water, no more juice, and tried different soups. Chicken soup is off the list so I started trying different flavour and vegetable soup is definitely my favourite. Sure the hunger pains were horrible in the beginning but I managed to push through it.

Today, I was going through my Instagram and found some really cool ideas on how to spice up water, like by adding lemon and fruits.

Though, as I kept scrolling I came across a page with pictures of doughnuts, cakes, sweets and all different kinds of junk foods. They looked delicious and my body seemed to agree with me because it filled with an immense desire to eat something sweet.

After losing all of that weight from when I was sick I thought that it would be okay to binge a bit, so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a box of Oreo's. I started off with one but then I couldn't stop and before I knew it, the entire box was empty.

I stared down at the empty box with a mixture of regret and anger. I really shouldn't have let myself eat all of them. Imagine how many calories were in each of them.

There was only one thing I could do to feel better. I ran to the bathroom, stuck my finger down the back of my through and heaved everything up until my stomach felt hollow. I kind of got used to the acidic taste over the past few weeks. I slowly got off of the floor and washed my mouth and face.

I will admit that I did feel a whole lot better after that. It was as if my body had been cleansed. As if I could start over again and do better.

-Anna