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Nerves filled my body, I wasn't mentally or physically prepared for this day despite all the endless suit fittings and rehearsals. I was waiting for Zhavia anxiously at my fathers house with him and the other groomsmen and guests. I wanted Zhavia to travel with me at the very least. I wanted to pick her up but my father wanted everyone who was apart of the wedding to move as a unit.
I wondered to myself if this was a good idea, the entire plan was to cut things off with her to not complicate things but I just realized I couldn't go through this alone. I needed some sort of moral support and she's one of the only people who really know about my situation.
I felt as if there was someone placed 100 bricks on my chest, this should be a day of happiness and union but all right now I feel is bitterness and resentment. I never liked the idea of this wedding in the first place, and just having all these people around my family home, uncles I knew were at my moms wedding now showing up for someone different, it was overwhelming.
I went outside to take a breather, my chest felt tight and I felt as if my breathing was ragged. My hand gripped over my chest, as a looked around a bit frantically. I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I turned around a bit too fast seeing and startling Zhavia.
"Oh! I knew it was you, you scared me, you okay? Zhavia looked a bit concerned as she realized my hand had been over my chest. "I'm just in my head." My breathing was shaky as I replied and Zhavia took my hand away from my chest, placing it on hers. I could feel heart heart beat that seemed to be slow and calm.
She watched me carefully as she placed her hand over my chest, "Your heart is beating really fast, I'm gonna ask you to breathe with me. You feel how calm my heart beat is? We wanna get you there." She says.
I nod at her words before she continues, "We're gonna breathe in and then breathe out, just keep your eyes on me okay. You're fine, you're present in the moment and you're gonna be okay." She gave me a small smile as she begun breathing in and out, I followed her motions as my heart rate gradually slowed down.
While doing the breathing exercises our eyes were connected and I felt myself begun to calm down. While looking at her I begun to take in her appearance. Zhavia looked stunning, she wore a simple wine red spaghetti strap dress that complimented well against her skin, her her curly fro was out and her makeup looked very soft and pretty as well.
The silver choker she wore blinged in the sunlight, which went well with her entire look. Zhavia was truly a beautiful sight, and that's something I couldn't ever deny. Her soft smile and her helping me breathe through everything calmed me down.
"I feel your heart rate slowing down, that's good, any time you feel yourself working up just remember how calm my heart rate is, get your rate at that pace." Zhavia sighed before removing her hand from my chest.
"Thankyou," I gave her a small smile, "You look absolutely gorgeous, when did you get here?"
Zhavia gave me a sheepish smile, "Thankyou, you don't look to bad yourself," she looked me up and down taking in my black and white suite, her bottom lip tucked in between her teeth which made my heart skip a beat, "And I just got here, I seen you outside and thankfully I got you at the right time."
