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a/n | tw: mention of self harm & suicide.
I cleared my throat in nervousness as I looked at my father who seemed happy to be here.
I decided to ask him to meet me at this new burger place that opened up not too long ago, I always known my father for liking a good burger so it would be nice to discuss things over with him once he's in a good mood. "You know Jadean," my father spoke, "I was honestly surprised when you gave me a call." My eyes darted towards the new gold wedding ring that rested on his finger as his hand was rested on the table, "Is that a good surprise or a bad surprise?"
"Good, I can't remember the last time you said you wanted to hang out or speak to me one-on-one, so tell me Jadean what's this really about?" He asks, one of his brows raised at her looked at my curiously. I let out a soft sigh, "I wanted to talk about mom." He looked a bit stunned by my answer and cleared his throat as he leaned back into his chair.
Before he was able to speak, a young blonde waitress approached us filling up our glasses with water, "Hello Gentlemen my name is Karmen and I'll be your server today, would any of you guys like to start off with any appetizers or drinks?"
"Yes, I'd actually like to start off with the garlic cheesy bread that you guys have, and I'll just stick with my water." My father says giving the waitress smile. "Perfect," she says while writing on her note pad, "And what about you handsome, what are you feeling for?"
I glanced over at my father who gave me a weird smug look before I turn to the waitress, "I'd like some of your lemonade and I'll start off with some Calamari for my appetizer."
"Good choice," she says before writing down on her note pad once more, "Would you guys like to order your mains now? Or would you like to order once you have your appetizers?"
"We will order once we get our appetizers, thanks." I say, and she gave us a smile and a nod before walking away. "I think she wants you Jadean." My dad laughed and I shook my head, "I'm not gonna get on your white girl shit that you're on pops." My father waved me off, "It's not about her skin colour." I clicked my tongue, "Right, well, I don't want you to divert what I said, I'm here to talk about mom."
"Jannette," I could feel his energy go down by just calling her name, "What do you wanna know about your mother?"
"Just tell me about her, anything surrounding her," I say, "Quite honestly I feel like I've forgotten who she was, what she liked or disliked, or even what she smelt like." My father pursed his lips together as if he were in thought, "This isn't like you Jadean, you and I have never spoken about your mother before but you all of a sudden have incline to talk about her?"
"See! You do this shit all the time dad, every single time I've mentioned her you always give some sort of an excuse to not speak of her, it's almost as if you're trying to forget her." I say, trying not to raise my voice too much in the restaurant. My dad rubbed his hand against his bearded face, "What if I am? What if I don't wanna always be reminded of Janette?"
