soul ties - jiara

Chapter 18

JJ's POV

The last thing I ever wanted to happen was for Kie to worry about me. But of course, she was deadly worried about me. And she insisted on me spending the night in her spare bedroom to ensure I was okay. I had no problem with doing it at Pope's house but there was no way Kie would lose sight of me. So I stayed. Currently lying down on the bed in her spare room I can hear them whispering in the room just in front of me. They seem to be arguing even though I am not sure of it. Suddenly I hear his voice more clearly when he screams at her "I'm just telling you, Kiara. Stay the fuck away from him!". I don't like his tone. I despise the way he is talking to her right now. I had all my temperamental issues and I might have argued with her, but you better be sure I had never raised my voice at her as he did. I would never put her down like that. She has her mind and she was very much capable of making her own fucking decisions so I hated him for thinking he had a right to order Kie around. I knew he was insecure about my proximity to Kie when he threatened me to stay away from her. He could talk to me in whatever way he wanted. But he couldn't do that to her. Not on my watch. If Kie decided on her own that what was best for her was to stay away from me I would be the first one to back her up. To distance me from her. But If she did it because that bastard decided to make that decision for her, I would fucking ruin him. After some mumbling from her, she decides to raise his voice at him too and I hear her warning him "Im warning you. Don't make me choose between you and him. You won't be pleased with my answer." my heart skips a beat. I knew there was never a day since I laid my eyes on this girl that I didn't love her. But If I ever doubted it, this was the moment my head told me to put all of those thoughts away. Because I loved her. For standing up for herself but mostly for still deciding to fight for me when all I ever did was disappoint her. I loved her with my whole heart, body, and soul. And I didn't trust that boyfriend of hers so I eventually stepped out of the room just to check if everything was okay. As I step out of the room, she is leaving hers. We stare at each other for what seems like a very long minute. We are very close to each other. I can listen to her breath fasten probably because she is very mad at David, but I think I could also blame our proximity for that. My own damn heart was beating the fastest I had ever been. From adrenaline, from the effect of the drugs coming down but especially from the immense desire to kiss her. to show her how much I appreciated her. I was never good with words but I always knew how to show my gratitude to her through actions. I feel her caving in just as much as I am. And this is wrong since her boyfriend is in the room behind us. We both pull back at the same because we know we aren't supposed to do this.

"I'm sorry if we woke you up." she excuses herself.

"No, I wasn't able to sleep anyway. Don't worry." I whisper. My eyes meet hers again. "Are you okay?" I inquire her. She doesn't even respond. She just nods directing those beautiful chocolate eyes at me.

"Are you?" she asks me back. And here it is. Her selfless ways show off. Even if she just fought with her boyfriend she was worried about me.

"I am holding up." I sincerely answered her. I was barely surviving. I was feeling myself drown. I wanted to leave right now and fill my body with drugs. Just to forget how hard it was to hold on. But she helped. The simple sight of her, made me want to keep going.

"That's good, J." she whispers. "That's enough for me." she smiles. God my heart is beating so fast.

"Kie, thank you." I show my gratitude to her. "For letting me stay." It's hard for me to admit this or to even get help, but I need to do this for her.

"I just want you to be okay, J." her eyes start to water. No, I can't do this again. My heart can't bare the sight of her crying.

"No, Kie don't cry please!" I whisper begging her. "Sh!" I hug her now. Suddenly she starts laughing.

"I didn't use to cry this much, did I?" she asks me. I smile back at her.

"Those mood swings are fucking concerning, Kie." I laugh at her. "C'mon sit down." I step away so she can sit on the bed in the bedroom I was spending the night in. I lightly close the door and then sit on the same bed as her but very way from her. I don't want to cross any boundaries.

"I heard the fight, Kie." I let out. "And I didn't enjoy the way he talked to you." I tell her.

"Don't worry about him. He's being a brat. I'll just let him sleep it off." she confides in me.

"You're not going to sleep in the same room as him?" I asked shocked. My brain didn't want to ask this out loud but It was too late.

"Im pissed at him, J. I need to clear my head so I'll sleep on the couch today." there was no way she was sleeping on the couch. Not on my watch.

"No," I interject.

"Don't even start with that bullshit. We slept on an island for a whole month I won't fucking die by sleeping on my parent's very comfortable couch." she tells me.

"But..." I start when she interrupts me.

"Shh, J. Just shut up." she puts her finger on my lips. Fuck. I'm trying to have some type of control here and this wasn't helping. As If she just had read my mind she pulls her finger back swiftly from my mouth.

"You'll guys be fine." I try to comfort her even though my heart aches just imagining her spending a simple more minute beside that piece of shit.

"Yeah, we will," she whispers. Silence settles between us, which is comforting. The only silence that feels comfortable is with her. I push myself back so my back rests on a pillow. "You usually have this much trouble sleeping?" she asks me out of nowhere.

"When the height effect is out the only thing I can think about is consuming drugs again, which makes it hard to fall asleep." I admit to her.

"And when you were sober?" she inquires.

"I mean sleep never was my favorite hobby." When I used to live with my father, I was afraid to fall asleep because he was very unpredictable. It got better when we started to date because she would spend most of the nights beside me. When she left , it got worse again because every time I would fall asleep my head would automatically dream of her. And that hurt.

"You don't have to be afraid to fall asleep, anymore, J." She touches my leg. This simple gesture was enough to reassure me. I was never big on physical touch but with her, I craved it. I craved that connection.

We end up staying up just talking about life. I didn't even remember falling asleep. Especially, this peacefully.

AN: I know I have been M.I.A. but I was in Italy for a week and I haven't had the time to write. I promise to update sooner and faster. Thank you for spending your time reading my story, it means the whole world to me. I love you guys.