soul ties - jiara

Chapter 21

Kiara's POV

As we reach the shore it's almost 8 am, and I am grateful we arrived. All the confessions laid on this car ride were way too intense for my heart to handle. When JJ told me his state once he was in rehab I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I was sweating and shaking and throwing up everywhere and I remember thinking that it was fucked up what drugs did to someone. But, I also kept craving them so fucking much that my brain would hurt."

Those words, the visual of it kept playing in my head and it broke my heart. I hadn't been there to help him go through literal hell, but I needed to know the possible side effects. I kept thinking that this could have ended terribly if I hadn't found out about that little bag last night. He could have needed to end up in rehab again and feel all of those effects again. Or maybe he could have overdosed... No. Kiara, don't let your brain go there. All you needed to do was focus on the present and future and not the "ifs" that came with the past.

"Kie?" I hear his voice calling for me and his hand touching my shoulder. He had already opened the door of his side. I must have been so attached to my internal obsessive thoughts that I just sat there for way too long.

"I'm coming!" I start untying my seat belt immediately. He laughs and tries to hide. At first, I did not why he was laughing "Why are you laughing?" then it hits me and I blush. "JJ, gross!" I smack his arm.

"I'm sorry!" he laughs uncontrollably now.

"Get your head out of the gutter!" I add.

"I'm sorry, Kie..." he stops in between to keep laughing "It was just the first thing that came into my head." he laughs. Suddenly, I can't focus on anything besides his laugh. It seems genuine. And I can feel a bit of happiness coming out of it.

"Your laugh is my favorite sound." I blurt out before my brain processes what my mouth just said. When I realize I feel my eyes widening, and his laugh stuck in his throat. His face gets serious but not out of him being mad. Out of tension. And lust. Or whatever this vibe that lay between us was. He clears his throat and I feel him coming close. If he kissed me I wouldn't have the willpower to stop. My body could not possibly do that.

"JJ!" I hear John B's voice calling. Just like that, the moment is gone. I feel the space growing bigger between us. My body already misses their proximity to his. "Man, I was fucking worried about you! Why? Why didn't you tell us?" he bombards JJ with questions. He quickly looks at me and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes just from remembering that he felt so desperate that he was consuming drugs.

"Not right now, okay bro?" he asks John B. John B looks at me and he realizes why JJ probably doesn't want to bring this up again. John B just nods and hugs him. Surrinsgly JJ hugs him back with the same intensity and I'm proud of that. He always dealt with physical touch but in the last few years, he has been getting better at accepting it. At associating it with good memories instead of bad ones.

"Are you sure you're okay to teach the class today?" John B inquires him. "I could do it for you," he adds.

"I'm sure. You know how much it clears my head to teach those kids." JJ reassures him. "Plus I have someone to help me today. Right, Kie?" he calls out for me and I come closer to them.

"Yeah, Im helping JJ today!" I affirm and John B smiles at me.

"You're a great helper, kid." John B messes my hair while saying this.

"You're only 5 months older than me asshole." I back off smacking his arm. "Im literally the same age as your fiance!" we all laugh.

We approach the inside of the surf shop and I can listen to all of the little chatters of a Wednesday morning in OBX. People are looking for surf equipment and I by looking further into the space, I can see people taking breakfast in the food area. Sarah comes running into us and I can see how mad she is at JJ. I can feel it. Before she can even start lecturing JJ John B interrupts.

"Okay let's let them pick a suit for Kie to help you teach the class and well go grab some coffee." John B says getting JJ away from the storm that is his fiance.

"Are you okay?" she inquires me clearly worried.

"I'm trying to be." admit to her truthfully. She hugs me and I feel grateful for it. I needed one of those from my best friend.

"So you're helping him teach the class?" she asks me.

"I guess I am." I shrug my shoulders.

It's almost 8 am so I make my way to the beach. I already see some kids gathering on the sand close to the ocean and JJ around them. He was so good at hiding how he felt that it didn't seem he was doing what I found he was doing. The way he gritted the children and how they hug them. I guess he loved teaching them.

"Hey." I approached.

"Hey." he smiled at me. "Kids, this is Kie, and she's helping me teach the class today. She already helped me once teach another class but it's the first time she's helping me teach yours so everyone greets her."

"Hi, Kie." they all greeted me in unison.

"Hi, guys. Nice to meet you." I say.

"I swear she is pretty good at surfing. Maybe even better than me." he tells the kids and smiles at me. My heart officially melts. Suddenly JJ focuses his attention on a cute little girl. When I look closely into her I can see her eyes water. He must have seen that too.

"Hey kids why don't I give you some time to chat a little bit more before we start the class so I can take care of something." he announces. "Kie, can you keep your eye on them for a little bit, please?" After he pulls that little girl aside to talk to her.

"Sure." I reassure him. He walks away from the rest of them and takes the crying girl.

The girl is now almost sobbing and its breaks my heart. I thought that JJ didn't know how to handle these types of situations but I guess I was wrong. I can listen to a bit of their conversation, which proves that my belief was wrong.

"What happened, Em?" he asks her concerned about the tears coming from her eyes.

"Some girl at school said that I could never be good at surfing." she admits.

"And why do you believe her?" he inquires her again slightly tilting his head.

"Because she is saying the truth." the little girl states earning another sob.

"And does this girl know how to surf?" JJ tries to make a point to calm the girl down.

"I don't know, I guess not." Em answers.

"She's just jealous, sweetie." he tells her in the most charming way possible. I swear even his voice softens.

"Jealous of me? Why?" the insecure little girl asks with hopeful eyes.

"Because you're going to be a great surfer one day. One of the best. And she knows that." JJ reassures her in the best way.

"Really?" she inquires again not believing that her surfing instructor is telling her this.

"Yes!" he assures her.

"You promise?" oh shit this melts my heart.

"I promise." And then this 8-year-old girl launches herself into JJ's arms. It's the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

I catch myself thinking about the future. About me and him. About our kids. How they would be the perfect mixture between him and him. They would have my olive-tan skin and wavy hair and then they would have his perfect ocean-blue eyes. Then every morning they would crawl into our bed and JJ would start tickling them or playing with them instantly. When they hurt themselves riding a bike or started crying because they lost their favorite toy JJ would be the one to rescue them immediately. Because that's how he is.

"Thanks for that." he touches my shoulder and realizes what I was doing. I was fantasizing about a future with a guy that wasn't my boyfriend. Because I must have just realized that I was still in love with this guy. "You coming?" he asks me. I nod at him and think to myself.

You're totally fucked, Kiara Carrerra.