1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-chapter one-

One week later:

Taylor was sitting at the dining table, knees crossed on the chair as she put the finishing touches on Blake's congratulations card. In an hour, she'd start getting ready, before she'd go and meet her friend's new daughter for the first time. Music was gently playing in the background, drowning out the silence.

It was weird, knowing herself without the shadow of another person. It was still so weird that even though she could love a person so much, it still didn't work out. They'd been the best seven years of her life, even towards the end. But she knew this was for the best. That didn't stop her from seeing what Joe was up to. Didn't stop her from reading news articles about him. No one knew about it, yet. She was thankful for the fact that they'd been so private lately - not seeing them out and about was the usual. This meant she could get away for a while without them finding out - it meant that in the eyes of the world, she was still in a healthy relationship.

The funny thing was, it settled back to normal quicker than expected. By the third day, her tears had completely dried up. By now, she'd washed her bed sheets so they didn't smell like him anymore. There was somewhat relief in the fact that her time was herself. She hadn't had that in so long, she'd forgotten what it was like.

2023 hadn't been at all like she'd been expecting. Here she was, the beginning of March, and nothing had worked out the way she thought: except in nearly three weeks, she'd be starting her tour. Which was overwhelming, to say the least, but she'd gotten good at distracting herself. Filling her days with rehearsals and having friends over, and gluing jewels onto microphones with her Mom. It had been fun. She was excited to see Blake, to see their little girl.

Of course, it reminded her of Betty, but it didn't make her sad. It had been a great time, but now... now she was able to make something great, on her own. Like her tour. Her tour was going to be great. No matter what songs she'd written with him in mind, or beside him, or with his pen, or what she'd sung to him at midnight... the albums were hers. This tour was all hers.

-

Taylor slipped into the car with her basket of goodies for her friend and sighed. She hated the hospital - it just reminded her of her Mom, and no matter the reason, she always felt uncomfortable at the thought of having to go in there. It just reminded her of the chemotherapy that her mom would experience, and how she'd sit there holding her hand while they flicked aimlessly through a cooking magazine.
But for Blake, she'd venture into the place that haunted her dreams.

They'd already called ahead to the hospital to ensure that they'd be able to arrive securely - and Taylor sat in the car for a few moments longer than necessary. Because this was one of the first times she'd been out alone - leaving the cats in an empty apartment. The lights turned off. The door to the roof closed.
It was the little things that reminded her of him, but she didn't remember them with any regret.

After all, she'd done what she'd promised her younger self: she'd loved fearlessly.

Taylor stepped out of the car, convinced she could smell the hospital already, almost gagging on it. It was so strong that she was worried she might be sick. All she could think about was her Mom, and all those hospital visits where Taylor sat worrying the entire time.
"Just up the stairs and into the reception desk," her driver told her.
"Thanks, I don't know how long I'll be, sorry. I'll call when I'm ready to be picked up?"
"Of course."
She climbed out of the car, pulling her basket with her, clutching onto it as if it would distract her from the smell.

Pulling open the door to the stairwell, she sighed. She really could smell the hospital, she was sure of it. She remembered a time when she couldn't climb up staircases without feeling like she was about to pass out, a time when she was unhappy. She realised that she wasn't unhappy right now. Realised that she wasn't sad or angry. She was at peace.