1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-chapter twenty eight-

Ellie held her Mom's hand in the elevator. The last time she'd been on it, she'd been leaving to go back to the haunted house of her nightmares. But here she was. She was back in the elevator, and she was here to stay. She wasn't going to be snatched away. The worst possible thing Ellie could have imagined happening to her had already happened, and she hoped that meant she was on the downhill slope now. But that still didn't take away from any of the things she'd witnessed over the past four days - the fact her birth mother was dead. The fact that her dad had blamed her for it - she still didn't understand.

Ellie didn't know why it bothered her so much, because she'd never loved her mother. She'd never even liked her. But she couldn't forget what her mother had looked like, her eyes wide open. In her messy clothes, her messy hair in her messy room. She'd hated her mother, but she'd never imagined the day where she... didn't exist anymore.

Taylor could just... feel that Ellie had been traumatised. She could tell that everything was too much for her, that it was going to be incredibly hard to come back from this.
"Do you want a glass of water?" Taylor asked her as she led Ellie through the door. "I've got some raspberry lemonade if you'd like some..."
Ellie shook her head even thought raspberry lemonade was her favourite, staring around the apartment.

Benji and Olivia scrambled towards the child at a speed that made Taylor smile. Ellie beamed when she saw the kitties running towards her, but it was nothing like the smiles she'd given before. Taylor was incredibly worried. The curiosity that had been there before... was gone. Ellie was almost merely a fraction of the little girl she'd been before. That broke her heart - she didn't know how to fix it. This wasn't the sort of thing that could be fixed with a cookie or a Band-Aid or a lullaby.

Ellie stood there for a couple of minutes, just looking around. Taylor wanted to make it better, wanted to take her pain away but she didn't know if there even was anything she could do. The little girl in front of her... she was Ellie but yet... she wasn't.
Taylor sighed, putting down the keys and her handbag. It was barely one o'clock in the afternoon, but she was ready for bed. She took a deep breath, before she turned around and put on her best Mom smile.
"Would you like to get all dressed in our pyjamas?" Taylor offered. "We could snuggle in bed, or on the couch or..." Ellie glanced up at her, before sighing. Ellie's eyes were foggy, she was here but she wasn't.
"We could have a bath together..." Taylor scrambled to find something that Ellie felt like doing. As a last resort - she thought about Ellie's favourite person on the face of the earth
"We could invite Gracie over?"
She hadn't even told Gracie about everything that had happened today.

The mention of Gracie was the first hint of a smile that Taylor had seen. A quick little nod escaped her, and Taylor was relieved at the fact that something had gotten a reaction out of her. So she flicked Gracie a text, asking if she would like to come over. She didn't mention the fact that Ellie was back - she wanted it to be a surprise. Gracie had been so kind over the last few days - the bonds of their already close friendship were even stronger now. Gracie had been a guiding light, Taylor didn't think she could've gotten through it without her.

Ellie was still standing in the entry to the apartment, and it reminded Taylor so much of how many times she'd stood there in the middle of an argument with Joe. When they'd argue - when she'd stand in the doorway, threatening to walk out.
"Do you want to get into some other clothes?" Taylor asked her gently, kneeling down in front of the eight year old. "I know that the last few days have been really, really hard for you, Ellie." She slowly reached out to take the child's hand. "And I don't expect you to talk about it right now, but whenever you are ready to talk, I'm always here for you. If you need a little more help settling in again, that's okay. If the thought of having a bath is too much for you, that's okay too."
Ellie finally looked up at Taylor, her eyes wide and full of tears. Her cheeks were pale and her hair was a mess. Taylor could practically feel the panic and disappointment radiating off of her. "Do you promise it wasn't my fault that she died?"