1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-chapter eight-

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Taylor asked Ellie as the two of them were sat in the bathroom. The girl still didn't like having baths on her own, so Taylor always sat on the floor beside her. Taylor enjoyed these moments, the moments where it was as if the two of them were the only people in the world. Where Taylor would sit with her arms up on the edge of the bath, her head resting on them as they played together. Taylor had gotten a whole bunch of bath toys delivered a few days ago because they helped make bath time easier. She'd gotten crayons for Ellie to draw pictures on the bath tub, or on the wall. Mermaid dolls that changed colour under water, and a little whale that swam along spouting out water. They'd been favourites from the moment she'd shown them to the eight year old. So Taylor had made sure that they were brought with them on tour.

Ellie looked like a completely different girl from when Taylor had first seen her. Her hair was healthy and shiny, and was most often braided in two plaits down her back. Her cheeks were rosey and she was a healthy weight. Her ribs didn't show through if she was wearing a singlet, she was now almost wearing a size seven - she'd been so tiny when Taylor had first brought her home. But now, she was glowing. She didn't apologise every single time she felt as if she'd made a mistake, she told Taylor that she loved her so often since they'd said it to each other this afternoon. Every five seconds, Ellie would tell her how much she loved her. Taylor realised that Ellie's love meant so much more than any man's love ever could.

Ellie smiled, a sight that Taylor would never get sick of. "I'm so excited, I can't wait to wear my dress and put sparkles in my hair and see everything!" she admitted. "Are you ready?" She asked as she climbed out of the bath and they began their night routine.
Taylor had to think about it for a brief moment. Tour was always her favourite part of being a famous singer - it made all of the other crap worth it. It made all the running to the car from her apartment, the constantly being spotted and having thousands of photos taken of her, the rumours and the lies... being on that stage made it all worth it.

But she was also a perfectionist, and performing live on a stage with a lot of people meant that she just had to go with the flow. If there was anything that Taylor knew about herself, it's that she wasn't good with going with the flow. All aspects of her life were usually organised and efficient, but she wasn't sure that tour could be organised in such a way, unfortunately. She wished she could ensure there were no mistakes, but that was impossible. Things didn't work, microphones stopped singing, lyrics were forgotten, stage pieces got broken... it was all part of it.

But tour was about so much more than mistakes, it was about the fans. She'd get to hear them sing the words of all her songs, she'd get to put all the hard work she'd done to get to this moment to the test. She hadn't even been able to comprehend it until now - the fact she was going to get to sing songs from four albums that hadn't gotten their chance to shine yet. But even more than that? She was doing it feeling the happiest she'd ever felt. She'd never felt so complete before heading into a tour. Touring took it out of you, that's just how it was. But she was so excited, she felt more alive than she had in years.

The last time she was on tour, she was with Joe. The time before that, she wasn't eating and was almost passing out after every show. All the times before that she was barely eating too, but 1989 was when that was at its worst. She'd loved going on tour with Joe, having him to come off the stage to, finding him in the crowded backstage somewhere. But she remembered feeling so much pressure. Pressure because he didn't want to be seen and pressure because she wanted him to be there. It had been as aspect that they hadn't talked about at the time, but something that caused her to lie awake at night worrying about it. He had seemed uncomfortable, being there. Taylor accepted that it wasn't everyone's cup of tea, to be in a crowd of seventy thousand people... but she'd wanted him to be there. She didn't want to go home alone during the Reputation tour.