1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-epilogue-

It was the final night of the Eras tour. The final night. Los Angeles.

Ellie had the blue butterflies in her hair. She'd dreamt of this moment since... since she'd been taken away from Taylor in the first place. Taylor had gotten her a suprise dress, and Ellie knew it was waiting on the bed for her. It had taken a while for her to be comfortable enough to take a bath again - but her short hair helped. Having her hair cut had helped a lot of things, actually.

It was just like Gracie's and she loved it because of that reason. In fact, Ellie's hair was a little shorter than Gracie's. It was the shortest it had been since her birth mother had cut it that day, but Ellie didn't feel like she needed it as an escape anymore, and besides - Taylor still did cute hairstyles all the time.

This was only Ellie's third concert since she'd been back for good - it had been too overwhelming for her initially. But tonight, she was excited. She was beaming and glowing with excitement. There was a knock on the door, and Ellie flinched. It was a habit that hadn't quite died down yet. She was getting there, but it was a slow race. Her mom had told her that it didn't matter how long it took, but Ellie was annoyed that it was taking so long.

Taylor was sitting in the couch, watching Ellie make a friendship bracelet with Gracie. She couldn't wait to see Ellie in the dress she'd gotten for her - it had been custom made, and Taylor had waited for weeks. It had arrived on the third day that Ellie had been taken from her, and Taylor had refused to open it. She'd left it in the box by the door. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't almost kicked it back through the door.

It was one of those fancy dresses that change when a part of it was detached. The dress, for the most part, was a silvery blue. It was exactly like the one she was going to put on to sing Enchanted - but it was shorter. The first part of the dress was short and looked as if she belonged in the Fearless era. But when Enchanted came on, Ellie would pull the dress apart, revealing a beautiful ball gown - that was exactly like Taylor's. She was so excited to show it to Ellie. She knew the kid had been waiting and waiting and waiting to see what it was.

However, lately, after Ellie's arrival back home, Taylor found her anxiety about losing her skyrocketed. It was worse than it had been in seven years. It was awful. It was hard to leave the house, it was hard to have Ellie out and about with her. It had been bad before, but now... it was astronomical. It didn't help that the Eras tour was bringing a level of public attention that she hadn't had in nearly eight years. It hadn't been like this with Joe - and dealing with that in the middle of everything going on for Ellie... it was exhausting. She was so worried about the crowds, the public attention. Ellie never seemed to mind, but still... Taylor did care. She really fucking cared. She cared about the screaming people everywhere she went and she cared about how that impacted Ellie. Particularly because of her past, and Taylor was aware of that. It was getting harder for her to motivate herself to be seen in public - because it was the worst it had ever been. She wanted to wrap the eight year old up in a blanket and run away together.

Ellie was going to go to therapy, and the two of them would start going to a support group after the tour. Taylor had spoken to her own therapist about it, and even though she didn't really want to go... she wanted to go for Ellie. The support group was a form of therapy that Taylor had never acknowledged before, and she certainly didn't want to sit in front of other people talking about her inner thoughts. But it would be good for Ellie. It'd be good for them.

She knew that it would be good for her to meet some other parents that had kids who had been treated in a similar way to Ellie. Taylor hated talking to normal people with normal jobs and normal lives because it always reminded her what she was missing out on. She was missing out on so much. Taking Ellie to the grocery store. Having Ellie ask her for candy at the checkout. Taking Ellie to a coffee shop and getting her a piece of brownie. Walking down the street and stopping at the playground for a few minutes, even though they were running late. She loved being on tour, and when she was with Joe... it had been all she'd thought about. But now... she wanted to do all of those things with Ellie. She wanted a slower life. Not one where she was shut out from all of the fun parts, where she felt like she was hidden away. But she wanted a home to go back to that was soft and quiet and gentle.