1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-chapter ten-

"You fucking little brat," Mommy called up the stairs. Mommy always scared me more than Daddy. Mommy screamed louder than him, and she hurt more than him too. "You fucking told your father where I was, didn't you?"
"No-" but it was no use. Mommy never listens to me when I tell the truth, she always thinks I'm lying.
"You fucking did. What the hell, Eloise!"
It's always hard to know just what my mommy means when she's talking to me. She's always out doing different things - popping home fleetingly before she disappears again. Yesterday I taught myself how to make spaghetti all by myself. I burnt my finger a little, but it didn't hurt any worse than anything I've felt before. 
"And now Daddy's angry with me and it's all your fault." I sniffle as she comes closer to me, grabbing my chin and making me look up at her. "You little snitch. You know what happens to snitches."
"I didn't, Mommy." I cry. "I was in my room the whole time-"
Mommy shakes her head before she pushes me away.
"I hope you know that you are the biggest regret I will ever have."

Taylor woke to Ellie whimpering in the dark. Pulling her into her arms, she cuddled her close. It was routine now, comforting Ellie after a bad dream.
"Shhh, little bee, it's going to be okay." She knew that Ellie's dreams weren't just dreams - that they were moments that had happened to her. Sometimes she talked about them, and sometimes she just wanted Taylor to hold her until she fell asleep. Sometimes all she needed was a lullaby, sometimes she needed Taylor to put on her favourite episode of Bluey - it just so happened to be an episode called Sleepytime.
Ellie turned to face Taylor, and her heart was crushed as she saw the tears on the little girls cheeks.
"Do you think there's a magic potion to help me stop having bad dreams?" Ellie murmured, her eyelids fluttering open.
Taylor smiled, wiping Ellie's hair out of her face. "If there was, I'd stop at nothing to get it for you," she told her. "But do you want to know something?"
"What?" Ellie sighed, and Taylor gave her a squeeze.
"It's always the bad dreams that teach us the important things. They're mean and they're scary... but maybe the memories just need a hug too." She paused, allowing Ellie a moment to think about what she was saying. "Maybe the Ellie in your dreams... maybe that little girl just needs a hug."
"She never got hugs," Ellie's voice cracked. "She never... She never got bedtime cuddles or goodnight kisses and she never got to watch Bluey with a grownup and she never got to have dessert and she never got to have pretty clothes or live in a palace but most of all, she never got told 'I love you' by a grownup." Ellie sniffled, and Taylor almost cried. "But now I'm here and all of those things happen and I get to dress up in fancy dresses and dance with your Mom and Dad, I get to watch you on stage for hours and hours and it's just the coolest thing ever." Ellie smiled. "And you gave Wendy a bath the other day and she's never had a bath in her whole life! And now she smells like lavender!"

It had taken a lot of convincing for Ellie to let Wendy be washed - she'd been worried that Wendy wouldn't come back. But Taylor and Ellie had sat by the washing machine for an hour and a half, making sure nothing happened to her. Taylor had had a lot of things to do, but she'd put aside that time for Ellie anyway. They'd sat talking, Ellie asking lots of questions about Taylor's life, her friends and her family.

Taylor leaned forward and pressed her lips to Ellie's forehead, smiling as she did so.
"I'm so glad you're here, little bee." Even through the dark of the hotel room, Taylor could see Ellie blush. "I wouldn't have wanted to be here without you."
"Really?" Ellie questioned. "I thought it would be kinda annoying, having a kid to think about. That's what my parents used to say. Especially when you're performing and doing all of that."
Taylor gave the little girl a sad smile. "Tour gets really really lonely, bee." She whispered, the moonlight creeping in through a gap in the curtains. "I've woken up every single day since you arrived into my life, and been thankful that you're here. You're not annoying - if anyone is annoying, it's me!"
Ellie laughed and Taylor would never get sick of that sound, of the way she closed her eyes as she threw her head back. As she laughed, the sweetest sound ever.
"You're not annoying!" Ellie said through her laughter. "You're the coolest lady ever in the whole wide world!"
It was Taylor's turn to laugh, glad that she'd distracted Ellie from her nightmare.
"Alright, my little bee, let's try and get some rest. Do you want me to sing to you?"
"Yes please, Taylor," Ellie told her, snuggling a little closer to her. "If that's okay. I'm sorry, you already sang so much last night at your concert-"
"I always have enough singing left for you, sweet girl." She grinned, cuddling her close. She began humming a soft little tune that she'd thought of on the car ride home. It had been a little too much for her - because she'd always come up with songs on her way home with Joe... and here she was. He wasn't there, and instead, she was writing lullabies for a little girl called Eloise.