1. shimmer (a taylor swift au)

-chapter twenty three-

Taylor's apartment was cold when they arrived back a few hours later. She'd gotten everything she needed, and they'd gotten on the plane at two in the morning. It was now nearly six, and they were back in the New York apartment that Ellie called home. It was super early, and she'd slept the whole time she was on the plane. Taylor hadn't explained it to her - why they were going back to New York when there was still another concert, but she knew. She knew.

Ellie remembered the first day she'd walked into this palace, this place of magic and warmth. She remembered it as if it were yesterday. As if it were only moments ago. She'd changed a lot since that day. Her life had changed a lot since that day.
"When do I have to leave?" Ellie asked as Taylor shut the front door behind her.
Taylor didn't turn to face her right away. Her head was low, and Ellie sighed. Wendy was clutched in her hands, and she held her a little tighter. There was a part of her that had expected this moment for so long that Ellie was relieved she wasn't living in a constant state of fear that it was happening - because here she was. In the thick of it, right now. She was living the nightmare she'd been expecting since she fled her house seven months prior to this. Taylor was obviously living in this nightmare too - Ellie had never seen her so upset. The grownup was usually so composed and calm and brave, but Ellie could see her cracking at the seams.
"Kate is coming to pick you up this afternoon, once all the paperwork is done." Ellie could hear Taylor's voice shaking, and Ellie stepped towards her. "I'm really, really sorry, bee." Taylor's voice was broken. It didn't even sound like her anymore.

She hated seeing her favourite person so upset. She hated seeing Taylor with her head in her hands, her cheeks wet. Hated seeing Taylor with her chest caving in and her shoelaces undone, her hair a curly mess... How long had Taylor known about this? How long had she been worrying about this? She figured that Gracie must have known because she usually never got to see Gracie after the concert. It was a relief to Ellie to know that she hadn't been dealing with it alone, and she really did hope that Gracie had known.

Ellie didn't know what she was feeling at this moment. She wasn't sure what it was - if it were anything at all. She'd just been expecting this for so long. Every single day since she'd arrived there had been an inkling in the back of her head that told her 'today could be the day.' And today, it was true.
Ellie took a few steps towards Taylor and reached out and she took the adult's hand, and the touch brought tears to her eyes.
"Did you ever come up with a plan?" Her voice quivered and her chest ached as she prepared herself for the fact that her life with Taylor, the life she loved so dearly... was going to be ripped from her. Even though she still had nightmares, and even though she didn't want to leave. It wasn't Taylor, it was the fancy people with the expensive brief cases that had commanded she be taken back. But she did find that a little part of herself wanted Taylor to refuse, wanted them to run away together... she wanted so many things and absolutely none of them involved going back to that house.
Taylor nodded, kneeling down in front of the child.
"I did," Taylor told her. "But unfortunately it still means that you're going to have to leave," the adult cried. "But I have a plan, I promise."

Ellie sat on the floor of her bedroom, her legs crossed and Wendy sitting across from her. The closet was empty, and her clothes were piled into a suitcase. Ellie looked over at her toy elephant and then glanced around her room. At her hair in the mirror, which Taylor had braided down her back, just like normal. Taylor had even added little green ribbons in her hair, just like normal. Her hair smelt of coconut and summer and all of the nice things that she wouldn't get with her parents. Wendy was watching her, and Ellie heard Taylor crying. Ellie knew that Taylor wouldn't want her to hear her crying - but Ellie couldn't help it. Taylor had been upset all morning, she'd been sobbing and sniffling. Ellie had been numb to it all, all she wanted was for this nightmare to be over and for Taylor to stop hurting.