ROGUE🖤 (Cole x OC! Lavellan) ✓ [COMPLETED]

Ch. 18 *You Don't Deserve Her*

COLE
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Cullen is leaving Nalia's room again. Why does he keep going there? For what?

He seems to walk a little lighter in his step after every time he talks with her. What does she say to make him look like this?

I lift my head, watching him walk past me in the castle hallway. He doesn't pay any attention to anyone, his head is in the clouds.

I can't help myself. I follow him, straying behind just enough so that he doesn't know. I feel like a predator, stalking prey...but I need to know. I have to know what goes on in his mind after leaving Nalia's room.

Cullen closes the door behind him, going to his desk and sitting down with a sigh. He's smiling. It makes me a little angry.
It shouldn't though, It should make me happy, knowing he's happy. He hasn't been the same since the Templars...and he's taking out his pain on Nalia, receiving her good nature in return.

She's helping him. Why should it make me feel like this? Angry...
I stand and listen. It's much harder for me to hear what's going on in people's heads, but I get bits and pieces here and there, if there strong enough.

"...Nalia... beautiful...love?"

My brow furrows. He still can't see me, I slipped through unnoticed and hide in the shadowy corner that is rarely looked at.
I listen...
"...want to hold her. Should I try to kiss her? No, there is a better way of doing this..."
My eyes widen.

For several moments, he sits still, smiling from ear to ear. Thinking these thoughts that makes me want to scream.
Suddenly he stands up. He gets a pen and a little paper, scribbling down something.

A letter?

He raises a hand to his chin, deep in thought. "I shouldn't just give this to her, perhaps some flowers? But what kind..." He paces his room, "daisies? The Hinterlands are abundant with them. No, something more romantic. Hmm...roses?"

"You don't deserve her," I step out of the shadows and stand in the middle of his room.
This will not go on any longer...

Cullen grabs his sword out of habit, but when he sees that it's me, he lowers it, slowly. He still holds it though, he's yet to trust me.

"Cole? What...what are you doing here?" He asks.

I step closer to him. "Your heart is heavy with pain. It consumes you when you least expect it. You'll only shade Nalia's bright light. She's too good for this world, to good for you."

His eyes widen, and I turn away. I walk out of the room, slamming the door behind me. Hopefully, that'll be enough to keep him away.

I walk back to the tavern, feeling much better.
Little did I know that it would come and bite me later.

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NALIA
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"...perhaps we should send soldiers to- Cullen? Cullen can you hear me?"

"Oh, what?" He looks up at me. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"You've been doing that all day," I set down my pen, approaching him. "Is something the matter?"

He scratches the back of his neck, a habit he does when something is weighing heavy on his mind. "It's just... that blond young man said the strangest thing to me earlier."

My heart beat speeds up. I haven't talked to Cole since what happened in Crestwood, nor does he go out of his way to come and find me. It hurts, I wonder if I ruined our friendship by kissing him.
"Cole? What did he say?" I ask.

"He said that I, don't deserve you," Cullen says slowly. "That my heart is heavy with pain, and that I'll only shade your light."

My eyes widen. Cole...said all those things?
I'm exploding with both anger and blushes. He has no right to talk to anyone that way, but at the same time...he gave himself away.

Cole is jealous.
He does have feelings for me...

I sigh. "I will talk with him. I'm sorry," I begin to walk out of the room, not waiting for Cullen to respond.

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COLE
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I sit on my favorite spot, on the edge of the battlement. I don't know why but I feel a little proud of myself, putting Cullen in his place.

He's not the only one though, who thinks like that when it comes to Nalia.
I hear some of Sera's thoughts, but her's are a playful flirt.
Blackwall's thoughts are more of a high respect for Nalia.
I discovered long ago that Solas feels what I feel for Nalia, but he chose to bury them deep in the shadows of his heart.

Jealousy overcomes me. Something I never thought I'd ever feel...

I never thought once, when I first saw Nalia, that she would change me. That she would help me...that she-

"Cole?"

I look behind me to see Nalia. As if I made her real by just my thoughts.

She inhales a sharp breath. "We need to talk. Now."