Are we forbidden?

thirteen

16.06.22

Leah and I made it to the meeting on time with Lucy, luckily avoiding any questions. We took our seats which were labelled with our names and I was next to Lauren.

Lauren turned to me, looked at Leah and gave me a smile. I knew Lauren and I had a bond from the moment I met her, I guess we just weren't sure what that bond was. Now I know we were destined to be best friends. 

I was also sitting next to Ella Toone, we had clicked instantly. She's so easy to have a conversation with and is able to make me burst out laughing constantly.

The meeting was about logistics, schedules and what was expected from us. It was basically everything I was expecting camp to me, which only excited me more.

Considering how late the meeting was Sarina sent us straight off to get some food, I walked with Ella as she asked me a million questions.

"Where are you from?" She asked.

"Unsure" I replied, hoping she would get the hint and move on. Though she did not.

"Unsure? You don't know where you're from?"  Ella questioned again.

"Well I mean I remember growing up in Manchester for a little while, before moving to London, then Sheffield and finally Birmingham, and now London again" I had moved all over the place, though it wasn't by choice.

"Wow, that's a lot. Did your family move for work?" I shouldn't have expected Ella to get the hint, but only Lauren knew about my upbringing as kind and as sweet as Ella was, I knew she would understand.

"Not exactly, I moved around different families" This was my final chance at getting her to understand without having to say it, luckily she finally did.

"Ah right, sorry if it sounded like I was prying, you seem like a really sweet girl and I wanted to get to know you better" Ella explained.

She had no reason to explain it was a harmless question, it was the answer that was harmful to me.

I never knew my mum or dad, or any other family. As soon as I was born I was straight into the foster system, it wasn't that my upbringing was awful the entire time, it was the odd family that was only in it for the money they got looking after me. They were the worst of them all.

What hurt more was when it was a good family that actually cared but couldn't afford or couldn't situate me anymore so I would have to leave, that was the worst.

"You weren't prying don't worry, I get it" I reassured her before we entered the dining hall.

The smell that hit me as soon as we stepped through the doors was amazing. The chefs here really were a credit to themselves, the food looked, smelled and tasted amazing.

Everyone was so accommodating, you were constantly checked up on, and teammates always chatting somewhere. The photos were the best, the camera crew took such candid photos that really held a memory. 

I picked up a chicken wrap and looked around for someone to sit with, Leah was chatting away with Keira and Georgia sat on either side of her so I didn't want to interrupt them. I noticed Lauren with no one on either side of her but Ella opposite, so I made my way over there. 

 "Hey, you don't mind if I sit with you do you? Or am I interrupting?" I don't know what made me so nervous, it wasn't like a school setting at all but I still felt awkward. Like I was the new girl with no one to sit with.

"Tiny, sit down now," Lauren said, using her old nickname for me.

"Tiny? Really? I thought we moved past that" I laughed, looking at Ella who was laughing hard at the name.