Are we forbidden?

twenty five

10.07.23

10pm

Unsurprisingly, Lauren was fast asleep at 10 pm, the day in the pool must have really taken it out of her. 

I threw on baggy light grey joggers and jumper and grabbed a blanket too, knowing it could get cold and made my way down to meet Leah. 

Our spot was outside, on a bench at the entrance to the gardens. When the bench came into sight, I could see Leah already sitting there. I sat myself down next to her, wrapping the blanket around me.

"Please now tell me why," I said softly, it was late and realistically we should have been asleep.

Leah took a deep breath before beginning ing on what turned out to be a long explanation. 

"Before you moved to Arsenal, Jordan was there. I had known her a long time and over time our friendship turned into a relationship, we had made it official but it was between us only close friends and family knew. We never confirmed it to the fans because that wasn't what Jordan wanted and I respected that. After around 7 months of being together, I found out she had been sleeping with someone, some fan account had posted it on instagram and thats how I found out. I was heartbroken but mainly because I felt betrayed, like all the pieces had come together on why she didn't want to announce it, she wanted to keep her options open. Then she transferred that summer and I thought I was finished with her, I met you and I fell in love with you and I am still if not more in love with you. Jordan was at the back end of an injury at the time of Euros selection so I didn't think I had to worry about you meeting her. Thats why when I heard I panicked and I was angry. She was not a reserve and as far as I was aware she wasn't even an option" Leah took a second to breathe before she continued. 

"When I stormed out of the room I was angry and I took it out on you and I will forever be sorry for that but at the same time I was preparing to protect you from the drama of it all. I thought If I could get you to hate me you would stay away and there would be no way Jordan could find out and cause drama for you in the middle of a competition. But I couldn't stay away, I knew you hating me would protect you, but I forgot about what it would do to me and I could barely stay away from you. Every comment, every look, everything I needed you to not hate me and I hadn't anticipated that. Jordan caught on quick by the fact you were wearing my hoodie then threw it at her, that's attractive by the way, and because I couldn't stop looking at you. I want you back so badly, I love you and I could never find the words that would amount to how sorry I am." Leah finished what was an extremely long and shocking explanation.

I had just thought that she wanted to go back to Jordan, but how wrong I was. 

"So why did you offer to share a room with her?" I asked, some parts of the story confusing.

"I didn't, Sarina thought me and her were still close and put her in my room, with Fran gone it meant you could move into Laurens. She wanted me to acclimatise Jordan to all the new people" It wasn't her. 

It wasn't her who moved my room. I had no idea how to react to any of this, but all I knew is that I missed her.

"I miss you" I whispered, almost not wanting it to be heard.

Leah lifted up my head and kissed me. It was a kiss we hadn't had before, it was a sad and lonely kiss but a heartwarming and close kiss at the same time. 

"Well isn't this cosy" A voice came from behind us and I was about ready to argue.

"I swear to god if you are still there in the next five seconds I will jump at you" I spat harshly.

Leah's grip on my hand tightened, and her other hand planted on my waist.

"I see why you like her Leah, young, feisty, is that your type now?" That was it. 

I jumped up from the bench and tried to run, Leah's grip on my waist kept me close to her, preventing me from running at Jordan. 

Jordan took a stumble backwards, before raising her arms, signifying she was going to stop. 

Leah moved me behind her and kept me there with her arm.

"Just leave Jordan, I don't understand what the end goal is here" Leah's words were harsh, they always seemed to be when Jordan was around.

"Just fuck off Leah, me and you are done" Jordan turned and began walking away.

"We were done long before this Jordan, I forgot about you for a long time" Leah shouted as Jordan continued walking away. 

Leah looked at me once again and moved a piece of hair out of my face.

"Please forgive me, I need you back" Leah pleaded, I was convinced of her story, but I still wasn't happy with how she spoke to me.

"If you ever and I mean ever speak to me how you did again, I will act like I never met you am I understood?" I was confident, I knew this was the only way this could continue.

"I understand, thank you ,thank you ,thank you" Leah said as she picked me up and spun me around in a hug.

" We have a match tomorrow we need to go to bed" I said, looking at Leah's watch for the time.

"Can I stay with you", I can't imagine what going in that room would be like" I nodded my head in response. 

"But be prepared for a confused Lauren with a million questions" Leah laughed and we made our way up to bed, getting straight in as we arrived in the room.