Shades of Kagan

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Avian Burn's Point of View

Kagan is sick. The last time I checked his temperature, it was thirty-nine point one degree. Dalawang oras na itong natutulog at nagpapahinga sa kwarto ni Dr. Reus dito sa loob ng kanyang office. This was my first time coming inside Dr. Reus's office, and I didn't know that there was another room inside with a bed.

I am sitting in a jubilee chair while staring at Kagan's sleeping face. Ramdam ko pa rin hanggang ngayon ay kaba dahil sa pagyakap niya sa akin kanina. It was so sudden that it took me off guard. That was the first time that our whole body touched.

My heart seems to beat nonstop inside my chest. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib at hinampas ito nang marahan.

"Stop beating so loudly, you blood pumping thing." I cursed. Bigla-bigla na lang akong napahawak sa aking ulo at napailing na lang sa aking ginagawa. At kelan pa ako natutong kausapin ang sarili ko?

Hindi ko na rin maalala kung bakit nakarating ako dito sa loob ng office ni Dr. Reus. My mind is foggy and I can't seem to think right. May ilang tinanong sa akin ang doctor at puro tango lang ang ginawa ko dahil parang nakalimutan ko na magsalita. It was a hug, I know. I shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Wait a minute.

Don't tell me I like Kagan?

Shit. No.

Lalo akong napailing. I even pinched my cheeks to wake up from this reverie.

Siguro ang dahilan kung bakit ako kinakabahan ay dahil ngayon lang yata ako nakayakap ng ganon. I don't even remember the last time I hugged someone. I don't have any memories of hugging my mother. Kaya siguro ngayon ay gulat na gulat pa rin ako. Yes, that's the reason why my heart couldn't stay still. It's because it's such a long time since I let someone be near me. I shouldn't think of anything else. Satisfied with my reasoning, I looked at Kagan again, realizing that what Kalix had said about Kagan being sick was true. I don't know how to explain this phenomenon.

When I'm feeling fidgety on my seat, that's when I decided to stand up and walk towards where Kagan is sleeping. Nilapit ko ang mukha ko kay Kagan na kahit sa kanyang pag tulog ay nakakunot ang noo nito. And since his lips are pressed together, I can see the bow like shaped of his lips.

I am tempted to trace my fingertips to his long eyelashes down to his proud nose. I almost touched it, but I stopped myself. I'm already satisfied by looking at his sleeping face. If I started tracing my fingers to the line of his eyebrows to the bridge of his nose, then I guess I'm too much. I leaned forward even more and noticed a strange line at the side of his neck. I didn't notice it when I cleaned his wound last time. It was a scar. Not that visible, but it came from his back.

I was startled when I heard a knock from the door. Mukhang masyado akong nalulunod na tumingin kay Kagan at bumalik lang ako sa reyalidad dahil sa tunog na nangagaling sa pinto. Mabilis akong bumalik sa jubilee chair at umupo. Huminga ako nang malalim bago binati ang taong papasok sa kwarto.

"Avian," it was Klaude who entered the room. I tried to make my voice calm as possible. Klaude just almost caught me staring down at his brother.

"Hey, you don't have a class?" Nagtataka ako kung bakit nandito si Klaude. It's still Friday.

"I skipped class. Hihingi na lang ako kay Reus ng medical certificate. I'll just say I'm sick and send the medical certificate with the doctor's signature as my excuse letter." Hindi ako makapaniwalang napatingin sa kanya at sinundan ko ang bawat kilos ni Klaude ng tumayo ito sa may paa na parte na natutulog na si Kagan.