Shades of Kagan

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Avian Burn's Point of View

In a split second, I'm now with Kagan. I just knew the difference between the two.

"You don't remember, do you?" I asked with a soft tone. I saw Kagan shake his head. There's shame in his face as well as horror in it.

"Don't panic. Klaude told me that you've already seen the doctor." Itinuon ko ang paningin ko sa magkasunod-sunod na mangroves sa aking harapan. I was the one who's actually panicking inside. How come that I was with Kalix. Ipinikit ko lang ang mata ko ay si Kagan na agad ang kasama ko.

"What is the date today?" Agad kong chineck ang petsa ngayong araw at sinabi sa kanya.

"I... I was unconscious for the last three days. I don't remember anything from that day." He whispered. Nakatingin na ito sa kanyang paa na malapit nang umabot sa tubig.

"You are in another state of consciousness, Kagan. A personality dissociation that is characterized by amnesia."

"I've heard. That was exactly what the doctor said." His tone is calm. Pero hindi dapat ako makampante. The calm is always the worse. Because after this calm, there will be a strong storm that will happen later.

"Have you met him?" Baling niya sa akin.

"I was with him." I corrected.

"What is he like?" He leans backward. He uses his arms to support his upper body.

"He plays the violin. Do you play violin, Kagan?" Tinuro ko ang violin case na nakalagay sa tabi niya. Sinundan naman niya ang tingin kung saan ako nakaturo.

"I don't." He said in a hushed tone as if he was telling me he didn't want to talk about this.

Silence.

"You don't look surprised." He said.

"I've met him many times, Kagan." I pointed out.

"I have my suspicions. Hindi ko lang inaasahan na magiging tama ang mga hinala ko. It's just funny. This explains why there's always a gap in my memories. It was because I have someone in me." He let out a bitter laugh.

"What's happening to me? I want to live. Why does it so hard to plainly exist?" He frustratedly put his hands on his dark hair and gripped it.

"Why can't I have a normal life even once?" His voice is somewhat sad that I almost cry.

"Majority of the people are suffering from their everyday battles. As long as we exist, there will always be challenges."

Maybe the reason why I'm drawn to Kagan was because he always made me realize that what I am going through now was not as bad as what he's going through. I know, I'm not supposed to do that. He was suffering in a way that he didn't have complete control of his life. But I'm suffering because of what I did in the past, and this is how I repent.

"I feel so lost." Pagkasabi niya ng mga katagang iyon ay parang bumigat ang dibdib ko. For someone who's experiencing a disorder, I'm not surprised.

"Honesty can be pretty messy sometimes." Napatingin ako sa asul na kaulapan. Wondering if I'm worthy of knowing these things about him. Kagan's honesty is breaking me. I glanced at him. He was frowning. Confusion was still visible on his face, but he looked gorgeous as ever.

"Come back to your family now, Kagan. They are all worried sick about you. Kahit si Klaude ay hinahanap ka sa akin." Pumasok sa isip ko Klaude na sobrang nagaalala kay Kagan. Sino naman ang hindi? Hindi siya nagpakita ng tatlong araw.