Shades of Kagan

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Avian's Point of View

I don't like being looked at nor being in a spotlight. I don't want to be seen. Sa tuwing tinitingnan ako ay pakiramdam ko ay may nagawa akong mali sa tumitingin sa akin o kaya naman ay pasimple nila akong hinuhusgahan.

People's stares made me uncomfortable and hot under my skin. That's why if there's a movie production, I probably work behind the camera and not in front of the camera. But I'm not in a movie. I am inside the dormitory, lying on my bed. I am still determining what time it is or if I'm late for class.

At ngayong nakapikit ang mga mata ko, pakiramdam ko'y may tumititig sa akin nang matagal. Sobrang tagal na parang mabubutas na yata ang balat ko.

I've decided to open my eyes when I felt something cold touches the side of my left arms. Mula doon, nakita ko si Nadia na may nilalagay sa gilid ng aking braso. She looked worried while putting her hundred percent attention to my face. Parehas kaming dalawa nagulat nang magtama ang tingin namin dalawa.

"Avian!" She exclaimed. She put her hand on her chest, showing how shocked she was now that I was finally awake. She's wearing a pink pair of pajamas and a headband that someone would wear if they're going to have their skincare routine. Pink looks good on Nadia. Lalo kasing nakikita ang puti at kinis ng kanyang balat. How can someone be so beautiful early in the morning? Nadia is such a goddess. I saw her sleeping when I got here around four in the morning. She's really beautiful even while sleeping. I don't have to be smart to know what's happening. She's my new roommate.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya at umalis sa pagkahiga. Sumandal ako sa headboard ng aking kama habang hindi makapaniwalang tumingin sa kanya. I flinched when Nadia suddenly sat down on the bed so I don't have any choice but to gave her enough space so she can sit.

"Wala talaga akong balak gisingin ka Avi. Kaso gusto ko sanang lagyan ng betadine ang gilid ng sugat mo. I think it's partly my fault why Dan do that." May halong lungkot at hiya ang boses ni Nadia. She's panicking right not, stumbling with words.

"Why would you blame yourself for something you didn't do? It was Dan's fault." Medyo umiinit pa rin ang ulo ko habang inaalala ang ginawa ni Dan. Dan and his nasty temper. I'm still thinking why a pure soul just like Nadia is still staying with Dan.

Nadia cleared her throat before continuing.

"When I told Dan I was with you, I'm expecting to see you here in the dormitory. Nang nagsimula na akong maglipat ng aking gamit ay hindi kita nakita dito sa loob. I didn't considered every possibilities. Hindi ko naman akalain na gagawin niya sa'yo ito." Tears started to swell in her eyes—still holding the cotton buds with betadine.

"It's not my intention to lie to Dan that I was with you yesterday."

"Dan seems like he doesn't want me to be out of his sight. Dapat palagi ko siyang kasama o palagi niya akong nakikita." She said frustratedly.

"As if I don't have freedom of my own!"

"Then why don't you leave him?" If she thinks Dan is manipulating her, then why doesn't she leave?

Bigla akong natigilan sa aking iniisip. It just show how I always leave if things get messy. Ako ang unang tumatakbo palayo sa tuwing nagiging mahirap ang sitwasyon. It's just the way I am. If I think I can't do it, I will leave and turn my back without batting an eye.

"It's not that easy." Kung kanina ay pinipigilan niyang umiyak, ngayon naman ay hinayaan na ni Nadia tumulo ang luha niya. Nadia and I are so different in many aspects. She chose to stay, I will always choose to leave. I won't hesitate to run if things become unbearable.