Shades of Kagan

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Avian Burn's Point of View

We waited for Dan to arrive at exactly five in the morning. Since he will be the one driving the car. Nandito na rin kaming lima, naghihintay sa kanya. Kagan looked like he didn't sleep well. It's not like I'm checking him out, but I couldn't stop looking at Kagan. His eyes really stand out. I noticed how he unconsciously frowned from time to time, and I wanted to know the reason for what made him frown like that. But what caught my attention was his clothes. Bumagay sa kanya ang damit niya. He looked boyish for my liking.

When our eyes met, he mouthed the word what and I mouthed back the word nothing. It's like our eyes are talking with each other.

"Dan is here." Nadia said in her high pitched voice when a black SUV parked in front of us. They decided to just use one car instead of bringing their own cars, going there will be easier that way. Nang bumaba si Dan sa driver's seat ay sinalubong naman siya ni Nadia ng isang halik. Everyone groan. Pero ngumisi lang si Dan sa amin.

We started putting our things at the back of the car as Dan scowled when he noticed the brown paper bags.

"Parang isang buong grocery store na yata ang binili niyo sa dami nating daldahin. These foods is good for one week." Napapailing na lang niyang sinabi. Kagan loaded the two case of beers inside. It was Nadia's idea to buy beers yesterday. Two cases, really? Wala ng nakapigil sa kanya kaya kahit si Klaude ay hinayaan na lang siya.

"Blame your girlfriend, man. Lahat na lang ng dinaanan niya ay nilagay niya sa cart." It was Klaude turn to grin.

When everything are loaded in the trunk. I was the first one who entered the SUV since I told them I want to seat at the back. I really prefer sitting at the back, besides the window. At least, I have something to lean on if I'm feeling sleeping. Lalo na at sinabi ni Dan na limang oras ang itatagal ng aming byahe. Nagising ako ng maaga kaya sa tingin ko ay makakatulog talaga ako sa buong byahe.

Sumunod na pumasok si Klaude at tumabi sa akin sa likuran.

"Avi! Paano mo napilit na sumama si Kagan dito?" He asks, directing his attention to me. Nagkibit balikat na lang ako.

"Sino nagsabing pinilit ko si Kagan? I asked him, Klaude, and he said yes." Klaude still looks at me as if he doesn't believe what I said.

"Either way, I'm really thankful for that, Avi. Maybe, after this vacation, I can finally know something about Kagan." I noticed that Klaude looked like he had a growing obsession with knowing Kagan's past. Ginagawa niya ang lahat ng paraan na alam niya para malaman ito. I just don't understand it. Why do we need to know other people's past lives as if the amount of respect you will give them is based on who they are? Klaude should learn to let this go. Then suddenly, it hits me. All of us have something that we keep to ourselves. Things that are so hard to let go as if our life depends on it.

We all have obsessions inside of us. I keep on clinging to things that will hurt me. Halmeoni suddenly comes into my mind. Kung magkasama lang kaming dalawa ay baka naitanong ko na ito sa kanya. This obsession of us will soon kill us.

"Don't get me wrong, Avian. You will think that I'm crazy if I tell you this." Klaude hesitated for a moment.

"Try me." Following a sigh, he started speaking.

"I felt guilty for living a good life, Avi. I was given a home, loved by both parents, and grew up in a family that didn't worry about what we will eat for the next meal. I was given education, materialistic things, and everything you can think of." Napatango ako sa sinabi niya.

"In short, you live in heaven, Klaude." It was almost a perfect life. I am glad that Klaude recognized his upbringing.

"Heaven?" He asked, confused. But I only smiled at Klaude since I didn't have the energy to tell him that heaven and hell are state, not destinations.